Guys, meet Chris White.
Chris was a special teams coach with the Vikings. He'll be coaching running backs for us.
I think Chris has some pretty special skills for us to use.
I'd say. Our special teams have been horrendous for 10 years now.
And they will continue to be.
What?
He's not here for special teams. He was part of the team that brought Adrian Peterson back from a torn ACL after six months.
He's an AIRBHUSTER.
That I am. I can beat this hex, gentlemen. And once I do, we can take Marchifornication again.
I'm not saying I buy this, but if you were going to defeat AIRBHG, what would you do?
Well, first I'd put together a team of young, energetic guys to match his strength.
So Brian, you're in. You too, Levar. And...
And...
Kirk, is there anyone else under 45 on this staff?
Look, HR told me I had to hire two young guys or risk a lawsuit, so I did, OK?
Well, we need a fourth. Someone who is known for riling up deified beings.
Then who ya gonna call?
Heh heh heh.
No, seriously, who are we going to call?
The Rock will do it.
The Rock?
Hell yes, jabronies. The Rock says this: The Rock is on every television show and in every movie right now, but The Rock has been pushing for a Ghostbusters 2 sequel called 2 Ghost 2 Busters for years, and he has yet to break into Marchifornication. And so The Rock is going to take his size 13 boot, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up AIRBHG's candy ass!
OK, that was unnecessary --
-- but way cool, The Rock! --
-- but we could use someone like you. OK, you're in.
Next, if we're following the script of Ghostbusters 2, we know that AIRBHG has taken the human form of a diminutive gentleman that works in a art museum. Who could that --
That Japanese guy.
What?
The Japanese guy who "defeated" AIRBHG in Marchifornication, then destroyed Fran McCaffery, Pat Fitzgerald, and Mark Weisman. He's a janitor at the art building.
It has to be him, then. Do we know where he is?
No, and it wouldn't matter. That dude is unstoppable right now.
There has to be a way to defeat him.
Let's split this up. Rock, you go try to lure out this guy so we can isolate him. While you do that, we'll come up with something that is more powerful than AIRBHG.
The televisions in the room flicker on...
