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MARCHIFORNICATION 2013: The Empire Strikes Back

How can the defending Marchifornication champion stop the threat of Japanese Subway Guy?


In the Iowa Football Offices, Kirk Ferentz calls a coaches' meeting

Iconferentz_medium Gentlemen: We have a problem.

Iconferentz_medium Japanese Subway Guy took out AIRBHG, Fran McCaffery, and Pat Fitzgerald.

Erb_mediumDarrell_wilson_mediumIconokeefe_mediumErik_campbell_icon_medium /gasps

Iconferentz_medium He is a threat not just to me and my Marchifornication title, but to the entire football program.

Iconferentz_medium He must be stopped.

Iconferentz_medium And Lester, I think you're the man for the job.

Erb_medium You got it, Coach Ferentz.

Erb_medium /walks to practice facility


Lester Erb is eliminated

Iconferentz_medium Congratulations, Darrel. You're the new running backs coach. Now go get Japanese Subway Guy

Darrell_wilson_medium /walks outside

Darrell_wilson_medium /slips on marbles

Darrell_wilson_medium /falls

Darrell_wilson_medium /lands in New Jersey

Darrel Wilson has been eliminated by Rutgersing

Iconferentz_medium We need more help.

Iconferentz_medium Get me Chris White with the Minnesota Vikings.

Meanwhile, at the University of Iowa Art Museum

Seceretary3icon_medium Over here, we have...


Seceretary3icon_medium ...what happened to the Grant Wood? Usually the Grant Wood painting is here.

Seceretary3icon_medium It must be out for maintenance.

Seceretary3icon_medium And around the corner, we have our world-renowned painting of Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God...


Seceretary3icon_medium What, is everything out for maintenance?

Seceretary3icon_medium My apologies. I don't know what happened to it. There's usually an elderly Japanese man who takes care of it.

Seceretary3icon_medium I guess we'll just move on to pictures of soybeans.