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THE HYBRID: MELVIN GORDON WILL NOT BREAK THE RUSHING RECORD AGAIN AGAINST IOWA

The BHGP Week 13 games preview includes: the return of Mikey Mania, Marcus getting a speeding ticket, a somewhat weak crop of games, and a slowed down Melvin Gordon?

By Bobby Loesch

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Jeff Hanisch-USA TODAY Sports

The Hybrid is a weekly preview of every Big Ten game, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate.

Was pretty happy to see Melvin Gordon get the NCAA single game rushing record last week. For several reasons.

1) Taking it away from LaDainian Tomlinson? That's icing so good I'd eat it without the cake.

2) Sure, it's a Wisconsin RB who has the record... but can't we at least take solace in the fact it's not fat Ron Dayne?

3) The play itself came on a TD; pretty cool.

4) These moves!

5) It came against Nebraska. I don't actually care about that, but I know a lot of y'all hate 'em. The point is: it was a somewhat real team and not, like, Purdue.

6) He did it in three quarters. What was he up to in the fourth quarter, you ask? Well...

...

Although...

You're right, none of this was worth it.

THE HYBRID

Tuesday

N/A

Wednesday

Kent State at Buffalo: VLC.

Thursday

Kansas State (12) at West Virginia: EhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHH? (That's me trying to talk myself into it halfway through the "eh".)

Friday Night Lights

N/A

Saturday

Indiana at Ohio State (6): Oooh, Ohio State gon' kill 'em. This is Big Ten vs. Big Ten, but I'm guessing a 28 point spread.

/looks up spread

34.5!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

Charleston Southern at Georgia (10): Damn you, Georgia. I call you no longer relevant, you win the Auburn game (and rolllllll), and now you're back into the Top 10, ready to kill. Proud of you.

But:

Nothing else to add; that tweet about does it.

Rutgers at Michigan State (11): Not Top 10? NOT RELEVANT.

JK, Sparty. You and Gary Nova are about to have some funnnnnn.

Minnesota (25) at Nebraska (23): A national college football person had some tweet that was like "Why is Minnesota still ranked No. 25? Oh well, I guess the back half of the Top 25 doesn't really matter anyway." I love the idea of the selection committee actually thinking that in meetings. Should 6-5 Texas really be at No. 24? FUGGIT.

* * *

Speaking of FUGGIT...

Northwestern at Purdue: The Boilermakers host NOTRE DAME SLAYER Northwestern. The good news for Purdue? The Wildcats might be a tad fatter than they were last week...

Such enthusiasm.

Penn State at Illinois: I know we blew out his team, but when you're responsible for 100% of your team's scoring in a game, I'm bringin' back the fuckin' banner.

Mikey Mania

Seriously, what did y'all think of him? I'm asking with the tone of an overbearing parent. And, as overbearing parents are wont to do, I'm showing you videos without asking if you want to see them.

TOUCHDOWN 1

TOUCHDOWN 2

One from each QB. SO SELFLESS. BTN also profiled him last night; here's the 45 second preview where he jumps on boxes and matches Brandon Marshall's running metrics as a high schooler.

Washington State at Arizona State (13): Washington State's new QB Luke Falk (redshirt freshman) debuted with a bang two weeks ago, throwing 5 TDs and 471 yards on the road against Oregon State en route to becoming the PAC-12's Offensive Player of the Week. Also, his sisters are in a band:

But Connor Halliday, don't think for a second we forgot about you. Here's our man spitting Jay-Z lyrics on Twitter this past Wednesday:

I saw the tweet while driving and responded with "JIGGA!"... then, the unthinkable happened.

Connor Halliday Retweet

!!!

The Limiter!!! Limiting interceptions and now character count. Friend of The Hybrid fo'eva.

Maryland at Michigan: Holy shit, if Michigan wins this, they're bowl eligible. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. There's a reason this is real:

Boston College at Florida State (3): The FSU backlash continues to swell, and we've reached a point where I don't think I get it anymore. Like, do you really not want them in the 4-team playoff? Who do you want? A third SEC team? Urban Meyer pizza boy? Love him or hate him, Jameis Winston is a star, and the playoff field would be a lot more compelling with this stupid team included. I'm not even calling this a hot take. It's just a fact.

Ole Miss (8) at Arkansas: Eh, OK.

Arizona (15) at Utah (17): My hero/idol/savior RichRod takes on the team The Hybrid randomly latched onto in 2014 because they played a few cool games. It's a battle for our hearts!!!

Wisconsin (16) at Iowa: Aright. Worst case scenario, we know MelGo isn't going to rush for as many yards as he did last week, right?

...

Right????!!!!!!

That said, being double digit 'dogs at home is depressing, and wowwwwwww these ticket prices.

Louisville (24) at Notre Dame: Usually, once Notre Dame has lost their second game, I go from full fueled hate to a much more softened mode (because their season is over and they're dead). Cheer up, Irish fans. Taylor Swift was rockin' your swag the other day when she photobombed a kid's portrait shoot.

That's how you know you've made it. #branding #davebrandon

Western Carolina at Alabama (1): To the bro in the comments a few weeks ago who defended late season games where Power 5 teams play teams like these, defend this game.

* * *

Unrelated/related, what do you guys think about this?

I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not, but my dad is an Alabama fan, and he posted this exact picture on Facebook with his added caption of 'Nuff said. My *guess* is some of you may disagree.

Stanford at Cal: I'll admit it, this failed fake punt was definitely good...

Why was he marching?!?!?

...but it's never topping this:

EVER.

* * *

Meanwhile, Hybrid reader and big time Iowa fan Ryan L. sends in some hilarious Stanford news...

Four-star fullback?!?!? That's, like, an oxymoron somehow.

Colorado at Oregon (2): When you get crowned Heisman winner in early November, it definitely takes some heat off you for getting busted doing 80 in a 55. Could you imagine if Jameis got nabbed for speeding after all the stuff he's already done? Burn the witch!!!!

Meanwhile, Marcus does it, and though I haven't seen any backlash yet, I'm assuming the worst we'll get is something like "He drives his car like Oregon runs their offense! Yuckyuckyuckyuck." And I'm just fine with that.

Although... MAYBE HE WAS A TOTAL DICK TO THE COP!!!

"Mr. Mariota was polite and respectful, he was professional and took the citation appropriately and acted appropriately," state police Lt. Josh Brooks said. "Everybody gets tickets and 80 in a 55 is a tad fast. We send you on your way, it's just that."

Yeah, he's the best.

Samford at Auburn (14): My 'Bama coworker picked a good time to astutely call me out on all the love I've shown Gus Malzahn over the last year. How the mighty have fallen (note: mighty still in the Top 15). But yeah, 10 months ago, I was wondering if he might be on his way to being the best college football coach ever. Now? Samford and Sons.

Vanderbilt at Mississippi State (4): Lose a big game, stay relevant. Just know college football doesn't usually work out so well, Mississippi State.

Oklahoma State at Baylor (7): The playoff committee is getting very ready to sleep on the Baylor Bears.

USC (19) at UCLA (9): Wait, we've already hit the last game? I really can't call this the Game of the Week just because it features two highly ranked teams. It has no national relevance and barely any conference relevance. I seriously wasn't even gonna feature it. But... if this isn't the Game of the Week, what is?

/scrolls up

Though I like Zona-Utah, I think I'm gonna give it to...

/drumroll

Iowa-Wisconsin.

WOOOOOOOO GAME OF THE WEEK CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!!!

* * *

Wrapping It Up...

Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Black Heart Gold Pants. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or e-mail at bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.