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Monday Musings: SIGH

I can’t stop sighing around the house and it’s only because of Iowa Football

Minnesota v Iowa Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images

Like many of you, I’m still in shock over what transpired on Saturday. I can’t clear my head enough to actually sit down and come to terms with it all quite yet, but I’m starting to think that this stupid game, in totality, was the most frustrating loss I’ve ever seen during my nearly 20 years of Iowa fandom.

I’m so annoyed by it that every time it pops into my head or my neighbor asks me “do you think that was a fair catch”, I audibly sigh.

I’m being serious.

I’ve sighed so many times the last 48 hours that my wife had to ask me if something was seriously wrong. And do you know how big of a lunatic I sound like when I explain to her that it’s just Iowa Football that has my brain and my feels in a pretzel? I feel like I almost have to make something up that makes more sense in hopes of justifying the visceral reaction I’m having that is clearly being noticed by my family.

Fandom is a sickness.

Look, I’m just a dude with a TV. So I don’t know jack. But in my most humble opinion, Iowa should have lost that game.

Also, in my most humble opinion, Iowa won that game.

Can I comprehend any of it anymore? Nope.

For 3-4 weeks now, I’ve harped on the sheer insanity that revolves around this football program and us as a fanbase. Surely, nothings changed after that loss. In fact, I think somehow we as a collective got more insane after that one (We pelted Herky with garbage! Holy shit!). I feel like I need a straight jacket and giant room full of pillows to throw myself against because my brain can’t handle the constant back and forth of hating what I’m seeing on offense and being proud of what I’m seeing on defense and special teams. I want to fan but also hate when people tell me how to fan and my lord are there a bunch of people telling me what I should and shouldn’t do as an Iowa fan.

And I know I’ve probably been one of them in the last several weeks.

Nothing makes sense anymore and I’m tireddddddddddddd.

SIGH.

But that’s not why you’re here and that’s not why I’m here. So rather than continuing to mope and complain, I’m going to just hash out a bunch of stuff I think I know and get some much needed frustrations off my chest all in the same. Cool?

Cool.

SIGH.

  1. Kirk Ferentz looked exhausted to me on Saturday for the first time ever. I’m not sure if I’m the only one that caught that, but compared to Game 1 where I literally thought he was aging backwards in his beautiful white polo to now, it’s like he’s aged 5 years. I’d like to assume this is all weighing heavily on him... but then again, he’s the puppet master that created this awful production. All he has to do is cut the string...
  2. Now that Iowa has two losses, this “Midwest Nice” fanbase is only going to get worse and worse towards the Ferentz Faction. Hope is a wonderful drug when it comes to Hawkeye fans and I think my friend Marc Morehouse would say we’ve been high for two decades off the hopium. But losing that pig to PJ Fleck at home and in a game that was 100% a win and 100% should’ve been a win without Cooper DeJean’s heroics is stomach curdling and offensive (no pun intended). A wins a wins a win is fine when you’re WINNING but when you have a loss, a loss, a loss to a program that shouldn’t be in your league when 2/3rds of your team is on the field, well, that’s just a horse of a different color all together.
  3. What does it all mean now? Like, even if Iowa gets to the Big Ten Championship, am I really up for seeing THIS against THAT again? I’m sure I wasn’t the only one that watched Penn State and Ohio State play smash mouth defense against each other on Big Noon. While there is no doubt in my mind that Iowa can hang with both of those units defensively, if Kyle McCord, Drew Allar and both Ryan Day’s and James Franklin’s offenses looked like that against each other, what would Brian Ferentz’s note card and Deacon Hill look like? And that’s if either of those two teams get to Indy this year... Iowa might need a mercy rule against the likes of Michigan.
  4. This is the worst Minnesota team of the Fleck-era and you lost to them because you are incapable of moving the ball even a few feet at this point. It’s the most embarrassing football thing I think I’ve ever witnessed. And I’m a Bears fan.
  5. I feel bad for the kid, but man, Deacon Hill might be the most inaccurate quarterback I’ve ever watched at this level. It’s so bad that this morning one of the SpoCo boys sent a screenshot of Jake Christensen’s numbers as a Hawkeye and by God I’d trade a lot to have our QB just be able to do that right now.
  6. I feel like my happiness is being held hostage by Kirk Ferentz’s stubbornness.
  7. How dare you let your players be interviewed by the media during the bye week and not your assistant coaches? When things are this bad and you make that decision, you’re telling the entire fanbase that you know. YOU KNOW! YOU KNOW THAT YOUR SON SHOULDN’T BE IN CHARGE OF CALLING THE PLAYS AND THAT YOU ARE PUNTING ON THE ONE PHASE OF YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM THAT IS IN CHARGE OF SCORING POINTS...WHICH YOU NEED TO, YOU KNOW, WIN! BUT INSTEAD OF HAVING TO FACE THAT MUSIC YOU JUST TAKE YOUR BALL AND GO HOME ALL THE WHILE PUTTING YOUR PLAYERS UP ON THAT STAGE AS A SHIELD? COWARDICE.
  8. You all know I did not want the Kirk Ferentz era to end like this, but my body is ready. My mind might still be playing tricks on me, but my body is ready. This is just not acceptable anymore and I don’t think Kirk knows what the answer is to fix it. Kirk’s offensive scheme that he is forcing on Brian is either so complicated that recruits/players are incapable of picking it up or it’s so predictable that it doesn’t matter. And on top of it, does whoever the next OC will be actually have freewill to try and make this better or does Kirk just do what he always does and press his finger to make them do what he wants while leaning on his defense and special teams?
  9. I know this is just my dumb, frustrated brain talking but who the hell would want this OC job without 100% autonomy to make the necessary changes to the philosophy and scheme that Kirk holds so dear (while also having the ability to bring in the types of players they want to run it)? If Kirk would just give a little rope to a pretty brilliant offensive mind (and, you know, maybe focus his attention on developing elite offensive lines again), he’d be the coach of a pretty effing talented football team that would maybe have a shot at a playoff spot every couple of years. Why is this so hard for him? Just be the CEO of the team and find someone you can put in charge of THEIR OWN OFFENSE just like you’ve done with both Phil Parker and LeVar Woods. I mean what are we doing here, man? How has it gotten to the point where it is so freaking hard to get a first down? How has it gotten to the point where it is so freaking hard to gain a yard?
  10. Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time anyone tries to do something fun or exciting on offense, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
  11. The bye week should only be used to figure out ways to get Cooper DeJean the ball on offense. That’s it. Brian isn’t leaving the office until he comes up with 100 ways in which to get Cooper DeJean the ball.
  12. And you know what, while you’re at it, after they have to go up and answer for your son, give the defense and special team players the entire week off because they’ve earned it.

SIGH

SIGH

SIGH

SIGH

SIGH