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Big Ten Football Power Rankings: Week Four

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WHY DIDN’T IOWA WIN BY 60?!

Auburn v Penn State Photo by Scott Taetsch/Getty Images

Hi!

I don’t know about you, but after watching that Penn State-Auburn matchup I absolutely cannot WAIT for this alliance to kick in and swap that for Rutgers-Oregon State, hoo boy.

Anyway, Iowa is the only good team, idk why we need to do this every week.

1. Iowa (3-0, 1-0)

WAH, WAH, Iowa only covered the spread by half a point and only got seven sacks and forced a goal line fumble but I don’t feel good about the position I’ve never felt good about as an Iowa fan so I’m going to be miserable and tell everyone who’s happy they should in fact be prepared for a letdown somtime between two and eight weeks from now.

Get a grip.

2. Penn State (3-0, 1-0)

Soooo Sean Clifford, eh? Impressive performance by the Nits who overcame horrific officiating, but were later bailed out by Bryan Harsin’s coaching decisions. James Franklin has a finite amount of good games in him, so let’s hope he’s wasted those instances when he gets to Iowa in a few weeks.

3. Michigan State (3-0, 1-0)

Miami is probably bad but Michigan State isn’t and right now these Spartans are my pick to play spoiler this year.

4. Michigan (3-0)

Hasn’t anyone told Michigan fans that Cade McNamara won’t beat a defense like Iowa’s?! Someone go suck the joy out of the message boards at Maize N Brew RIGHT NOW.

5. Ohio State (2-1, 1-0)

It’s too bad Ohio State couldn’t look to its own backyard for a playmaking linebacker. How long until CJ Stroud gets benched for another 5-star recruit? Must be nice!

6. Indiana (1-2, 0-1)

Sorry Hoosiers, but Ninewindiana ain’t happening this year. We broke Michael Penix Jr. and I’m sorry you ever got your hopes up for a guy named Tom Allen.

7. Wisconsin (1-1, 0-1)

Talk to me when you play three games!

8. Maryland (3-0, 1-0)

Unfortunately, I watched most of Maryland-Illinois annnnnnd well I’m less worried about that looming Friday night matchup in College Park than I was before.

9. Minnesota (2-1, 0-1)

The Gophers flew high in Boulder buuuuuut Colorado’s head coach has a Wikipedia heading titled “Second stint with the Miami Dolphins” so you knew they made a good hire!

10. Rutgers (3-0)

Yes.

11. Purdue (2-1)

Purdue only scored in two quarters as it let Notre Dame wave its toxicity all over the field. I’m going to watch the Domers in the flesh this weekend because I am a masochist.

12. Illinois (1-3, 1-1)

We’re totally gonna replace Kirk with Bert, aren’t we?

13. Northwestern (1-2, 0-1)

This is the year Pat Fitzgerald is using to charge up his hyperbeam that will be used in order to beat Iowa in 2022, ‘24 and ‘25. Let those cats sleepwalk through the rest of year.

14. Nebraska (2-2, 0-1)

I am so hungover right now. Like holy shit, this is bad for a Monday. If someone orders you a Rusty Nail at the bar, tell them to go straight to Hell.

Unrelated, who has a good method for getting vomit out of leather?