It is the eighth day of November and we are in the midst of a four-way tie for first place in the Big Ten West. With wins over Purdue and Iowa, and the Axe game looming, Minnesota and Wisconsin own the luxury of WIN and IN, while Purdue and Iowa need to sacrifice some goats in order to make it to Indy.
Things looked bad for a handful of Big Ten teams Saturday, but all you can say really is this: at least they’re not Stanford.
Or Kentucky. I mean get a load of this!
And guess which team lost! You’re gonna have to guess, because my browser can’t support opening up another tab right now, just like my throat can’t support yelling another swear at Brian Ferentz from the stands of Ryan Field.
1. Ohio State (8-1, 6-0)
The Death Star is back in action even though this was just a one-score game going into the fourth. Last week I said Ohio State over Penn State felt like Buckeyes playing with its food situation, and... I don’t actually really think this is the case this week as Scott Frost out-Frosted himself while #collegekickers reared its head.
Still, Ohio State is the last team with an unblemished conference record and my Nebraska under 6 1⁄2 wins check cashed two weeks ago.
2. Michigan (8-1, 5-1)
Michigan falls upward here after taking its turn against Indiana. And that’s really all I have to say about that.
3. Purdue (6-3, 4-2)
What the hell is going on here? Mel Tucker must’ve asked Phil Parker for advice on how to stop David Bell, because he went off for another 200 yards, averaging a clean 19.7 yards per catch. The Boilers play at Ohio State this week, and if they pull off the upset there, we’re looking at perhaps the most bizarre college team of all time.
Can also confirm Purdue is the only team in college football history to win multiple games against top-5 teams while unranked *by double digits* in the same season https://t.co/Y2mZ0BZE0F— Matt Brown (@MattBrownCFB) November 7, 2021
4. Michigan State (8-1, 5-1)
Wisconsin probably deserves to be here over Sparty right now, but I don’t care. People filled their diaper over an undefeated Michigan State in the top 4 of the CFP rankings last week, and in the most predictable outcome of all time, that matter resolved itself rather quick. Michigan State gets Maryland before it takes on Ohio State and Penn State. A tailspin end of the season for the former hottest coach in college football is now very much on the table.
5. Wisconsin (6-3, 4-2)
They could be higher, but again, I don’t care. I wish I saw one more loss on this schedule, but... I just don’t.
6. Iowa (7-2, 4-2)
This seems right, which is just so damn sad. As someone who went to the game Saturday, it was encouraging to see Padilla inserted as early as he was. He spun the ball in a way I don’t think Petras has, and he would’ve had a much more attractive slash line if it weren’t for some drops. But when is that not the case?
Tyler Goodson looked like Tyler Goodson for the first time since the Maryland game. Whether that’s more Northwestern than anything is up for debate, it’s still not nothing.
The end-of-half and final 10ish minutes of the fourth quarter playcalling was chickenshit, however, and I truly believe Kevin Warren needs to open up an investigation into Brian Ferentz for point shaving.
7. Penn State (6-3, 3-3)
This Big Ten season is aging like milk.
8. Minnesota (6-3, 4-2)
Sure, let’s just put Minnesota, a team that lost to Bowling Green, then extended its coach five years, then lost to Illinois, right here. The fact this team is still tied for first place is sickening. I am ill.
9. Illinois (4-6, 3-4)
Maybe Illinois should be above Minnesota, a team it just beat. And maybe I shouldn’t have eaten seven crab rangoons (crabs rangoon?) for dinner. Life is full of maybes and if you haven’t learned to live with the consequences of your actions by now then I simply cannot help you.
10. Nebraska (3-7, 1-6)
While Nebraska boasts the title of best three-win team in the country, some pundits are saying that’s precisely why Scott Frost should get fired, and it’s getting tough to disagree, though I think he sticks around one more year.
@38Godfrey “Nebraska is a decent team…that is actually better, more talented than 3-7. That’s why you should fire” Scott Frost.— Derek Johnson (@DerekJohnson05) November 7, 2021
Exactly. In contrast to the Frost-clingers, #Huskers should fire Frost because he cannot win with a decent team. https://t.co/PPJT6KDc2w
11-14: Please don’t make me talk about the rest
More observations from Evanston:
Just great to see a bunch of Hawkeyes out there. The crowd was certainly the largest I’ve ever seen in Ryan Field, this being my third or fourth trip there now. Not serving alcohol in the stadium is a huge fumble after tailgating on a golf course for four hours. It was an incredibly frustrating affair to watch in person.
The porta potty situation at the tailgate and INSIDE the stadium was abysmal. I get the feeling the city of Evanston barely tolerates tailgating as a whole. Weren’t there talks of a new stadium getting built? That thing is 95 years old.
Got a hot dog from Mustard’s last Stand on the way out. Outstanding dog, woof woof.