For those of you who may not know but ahead of this season, my lovely wife gave birth to our baby boy. He’s adorable. But he’ll need money for college assuming he doesn’t grow up to be a 6’4” point god or TikTok star and it still costs a pretty penny to attend.

So it’s time to open a 529 and what better way* to invest than college football picks.

Note: there are much better ways to invest money and neither I, nor BHGP, are liable for any losses you may endure as a result of any “advice.”

The ground rules:

• No more than 20% wagered per week
• No more than 5% on a single bet

Last week:

• 400 units on Louisiana (+400) over Iowa State (net +1600)
• 278 units on Louisiana +11.5 and Louisiana-Monroe +22 over Army (net -278)
• 445 units on Chelsea to win the Premier League (outstanding)

Bankroll: 10,877 units

How about that. Iowa State doing what Iowa State does - underperform expectations. Hey, I guess the Big 12 is still there for the taking! And though Monroe proved my logic wrong, the mistake didn’t prove too costly. And Chelsea? Well, they started off strong with a 3-1 drubbing of Brighton ahead of this weekend’s marquee matchup against the defending champion Liverpool.

Surely that game will be available to the masses on NBC’s biggest stage??

Looks like Luka Garza is going to be pretty, pretty busy this weekend.

So what does the slate of games look like state-side?

As of this writing, William Hill has 15 games available, a small step up from last week’s group. The games also look a little higher in quality than the prior week as more Big 12 and ACC teams come online.

Let’s parlay a couple teams down south:

Navy at Tulane (-7 / ML: -260) & Troy (-3 / ML: -150) at Middle Tennessee State

The Midshipmen got boatraced against BYU and I fear it may be a little more of the same as the first contact they faced was a couple weeks ago against the Cougars. Navy also hasn’t honed in on a QB and while throwing the ball is nearly irrelevant in their offense, the decision-making is arguably more important.

Tulane squeaked out a win against South Alabama but their defense posted some solid stats, allowing just 2.1 yards per carry.

MTSU got their tails handed to them against Army in week one and that’s enough for me to pick Troy who had an admittedly down year last year.

The pick: Parlay Tulane -260 with Troy -150 (+131), 217 units to return 500

Onto Stillwater:

Tulsa at Oklahoma State (-23.5 / O/U: 66.5)

Oklahoma State and their non-conference opponents (not counting bowls) have totaled over 66.5 points in 8 of their last 12 matchups. They return their starting QB, starting RB, and leading WR. If there’s a team out there who needs to prove they’re together, it’s Oklahoma State (and Iowa but it’s irrelevant for this pick).

They cut through the noise and nearly break that number themselves.

The pick: Over 66.5 points, 440 units to return 840

Now to Dallas:

SMU at North Texas (+14 / ML: +450)

They say not to bet with your heart but how can you not with this fit honoring Hayden Fry?

The pick: North Texas to win, 200 units to return 1100

And there it is! Time to let the cash wash all over us as baby’s 529 continues in the correct direction.

Bankroll:
10,020 units

Outstanding bets:
Tulane & Troy +131 to beat Navy & MTSU (returns 500 units)
Tulsa/Oklahoma State over 66.5 points (returns 840 units)
North Texas +450 to beat SMU (returns 1100 units)
Chelsea +800 to win Premier League (returns 4,005 units)