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Big Ten Football Power Rankings: The Beginning

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Who’s ready for more of this crap?

Minnesota v Purdue

We’re back to college football season, which means you’re all gonna get another healthy dose of the only power rankings column in the Big Ten for ANOTHER year. If you want your money back, please inquire with @JPinIC.

Since I’ve moved on from becoming the main bitch in charge of this site, I’ve seriously cut down on my consumption of Big Ten football media content from across the web. While I am I noticing gains in upper body strength, it has seriously hindered my mental growth.

I can probably name roughly 10 non-Iowa players in the conference right now. So this is the most informed thing you’ll read all day.

On to the news!

1. Ohio State

It’s basically Ohio State’s league to lose. I realize Urban Meyer is gone, and I had to double-check who’s coaching the Buckeyes this year (it’s Ryan Day) but this team is loaded with enough talent for any semi-competent coach to run the table in what I think is a particularly soft Big Ten.

Let’s not forget a five-star transfer from Georgia will be quarterbacking the Buckeyes, and he’s got NFL weapons around him in running back JK Dobbins (and RB2 Demario McCall) KJ Hill, and an offensive line that will almost certainly be really good.

The defense lacks a Bosa for the first time in a quarter century, but Jordan Fuller and Chase Young are first round talents. If Ryan Day can shutout the drama surrounding the locker room and keep the Buckeyes focused, I see no other team from the east unseating Ohio State from its throne.

2. Wisconsin

I put the Badgers here for largely the same reason I place OSU above: it’s up to them to show that last year’s regression was a blip on the radar.

The Badgers boast arguably the best running back in the nation in Jonathan Taylor, and could have their best QB recruit ever handing it off to him as a true freshman in Graham Mertz (Jack Coan was named the starter this week, but he’s gonna be on an extremely short leash by all accounts). All four of Wisconsin’s leading receivers return from a year ago, including the formerly-dismissed Quintez Cephus, so we might witness the greatest Badger passing attack since Russell Wilson if one of these QBs pans out.

Paul Chryst is as solid as they come, and even though this defense is kind of full of question marks, I think D-coordinator Jimmy Leonhard is gonna be a head coach elsewhere sooner than later. After Phil Parker and Don Brown, he’s probably the best in the conference.

3. Michigan

How can pundits be so high on Michigan after the team lost a four-star receiver!?!? Jim Harbaugh has yet to beat Ohio State (and Iowa) and that’s not changing after this year. Shea Patterson is the fakest news of all time and the fact that he’s about to have his third offensive coordinator in as many years spells nothing but trouble for the Wolverines.

4. Purdue

I originally had Iowa here, but that was a little too homerish of me. I think Jeff Brohm builds a case as the best coach in the Big Ten this year, led by Rondale Moore, who’s gonna rack up over 2,000 all-purpose yards and 15 touchdowns.

And even though Purdue seems to be Rondale Moore and nothing else, that’s honestly probably enough to win the west. It’s proven to be enough to beat Iowa and Ohio State!

5. Iowa

I’ve been really down on Iowa’s prospects for 2019 all offseason, but now that I’m getting back into bloggin’ mode, I see no good reason for this team to not win the West. The biggest question marks on the roster are at offensive guard and friggin’ punter. Every other position group is loaded with veteran players or young talent.

Outside Ohio State, I’m not sure there’s a team that wouldn’t rather have Nate Stanley as its quarterback. AJ Epenesa and Geno Stone are probably the two best players at their position in the conference, and the same can be said of Alaric Jackson and Tristan Wirfs. If everyone just does their job, then this team is winning the west.

And when I say “everyone” in “everyone does their job,” I’m talking about the coaches. Two in particular.

6. Penn State

I’ve been a James Franklin truther since day one. Saquon Barkley, Trace McSorley and Joe Moorhead all more or less fell into his lap, and even then he wasn’t able to win a Rose Bowl with all that talent. Franklin is going to expose himself as a moron this year. Unless the former team doctor does it first.

7. Michigan State

Should probably put Michigan State a little higher up here. Mark Dantonio needs to pick someone between Rocky Lombardi and Brian Lewerke, and once he does, I think MSU re-assumes its role as being what we wish Iowa was.

8. Northwestern

Cool, congrats on the quarterback transfer from Clemson. There’s probably a reason he picked Northwestern. It has to do with playing right away in a tikes offense.

9. Nebraska

I have little to say on the hype Nebraska is generating nationally: they aren’t winning the West. But I do have something to say about quarterback Adrian Martinez: I think he’ll be a top-3 quarterback in the conference by the end of the year, and if anything he might be under-hyped. This offensive line is probably the most under-rated in the conference, while JD Spielman is a real offensive weapon with the skillset that scrambling quarterbacks need in order to utilize their full potential.

The problem for Nebraska, of course, is that defense is not optional anymore.

10. Minnesota

Minnesota has some really good running backs and that’s about it. Quarterback is going to be a huge issue for the Gilded Rodents, and while I think defensive coordinator Joe Rossi is a rising star in the coaching ranks, the talent just isn’t there for this team to press anyone.

11-13. Maryland, Rutgers, Indiana

Whatever.

14. Illinois

So Illinois got its best quarterback recruit of all time and they’re gonna redshirt him in favor of a Michigan flunkie? Lol k.

Stay tuned all season long for more dumbassery!