Big Ten Football Power Rankings: Week 14

Welp, there it is. Another Big Ten Football season is in the books and the whole damn thing basically re-wrote itself. Have you seen this movie before?

• Ohio State wins the east, probably will win the whole thing.
• Wisconsin wins the west, probably gonna get smothered by Ohio State in Indy.
• Rutgers is the worst college football team of all time.
• Jim Harbaugh loses to Ohio State. Again.
• Pat Fitzgerald reminds us he’s incapable of having a civil conversation with a reporter.
• PJ Fleck and Scott Frost and Lovie Smith remain winless against Iowa (Matt Campbell too).

I look forward next year’s version of The Simulation.

1. Ohio State (12-0, 9-0)

Good thing Justin Fields will be in the conference for one more season, just in time to face Iowa. That’ll be fun!

2. Penn State (10-2, 7-2)

I don’t really think Penn State deserves to be this high, but well that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Have fun in the Rose Bowl, jerks!

3. Wisconsin (10-2, 7-2)

How chaotic would it be if Wisconsin took down Ohio State in Indy this weekend? I’d love that shit, but also would be mad that the Buckeyes would possibly be knocked out of the playoff if that were to happen. Read my mind and then do what’s best for ME, Wisconsin.

4. Minnesota (10-2, 7-2)

Putting them here because I didn’t want to put Michigan at 4.

5. Iowa (9-3, 6-3)

Putting them here because I didn’t want to put Michigan at 5.

Also, Iowa ended on a higher note than Michigan, despite Iowa’s best efforts to piss away big leads against Minnesota and Nebraska. This Hawkeye team battled, much like Michigan did after a shaky start and well, close now counts in horse shoes, hand grenades, and Benny’s B1G Blog.

6. Michigan (9-3, 6-3)

I’m not excited to face a Michigan team that doesn’t have Shea Patterson under center.

7. Indiana (8-4, 5-4)

#Ninewindiana can still happen. It probably won’t, but it might.

8. Illinois (6-6, 4-5)

Losing to Northwestern really took the shine off this turd. Thanks for providing another dumb soundbite from Pat Fitzgerald, though.

9. Purdue (4-8, 3-6)

Putting them here because 1. I feel really bad about how Purdue’s season shook out, 2. they still put up eye-popping offensive numbers and 3. Michigan State barely beat Maryland.

10. Michigan State (6-6, 4-5)

Imagine needing to beat Maryland the last game of the year to earn bowl eligibility.

11. Nebraska (5-7, 3-6)

Sorry that Iowa ruined Scott Frost day! At least you ended your season on a high note, you sad bastards.

12 & 13. Northwestern and Maryland

I’m spent.

14. Rutgers (2-10, 0-9)

Welcome back to the Big Ten football coaching ranks, Greg Schiano. I’m sure you’ll be embraced with open arms by fellow coaches, fans and the media.