I didn’t watch a single second of college football this weekend, and it doesn’t look like I missed much.
Half the teams in the conference were on a bye, for some reason, and the only ranked team with a game was Michigan, which made mincemeat out of Maryland in what I can only assume was a Capital One Field full of Michigan fans (you can probably fill Capital One Field full of Michigan alums who also work at Capital One, mind blown emoji).
In fact, there was only one Big Ten matchup that ended up being a one score game.
And that’s it. That’s the whole power rankings.
1. Ohio State (8-0, 5-0)
I kinda sorta think Ohio State is the best team in the country, exemplified by their excellent showing off the field this week.
2. Penn State (8-0, 5-0)
I hate Penn State so much.
3. Minnesota (8-0, 5-0)
Was at another family wedding this past weekend, where every single Ross who attended Minnesota (which is every Ross but me) gloated about going to the Minnesota-Penn State game this upcoming weekend. Imagine having one game worth going to every seven years.
4. Wisconsin (6-2, 3-2)
Let’s burn Camp Randall to the ground this weekend.
5. Michigan (7-2, 4-2)
Michigan might suck, but Iowa and Notre Dame and Rutgers suck harder and that makes me very sad.
6. Iowa (6-2, 3-2)
Please Nate Stanley please beat your hometown team before you graduate.
7. Indiana (7-2, 4-2)
I cannot believe Indiana has seven wins. I had to look at three different sources to confirm that. Unfortunately, they’ll likely end the year on that number.
8. Michigan State (4-4, 2-3)
9. Illinois (5-4, 3-3)
Illinois could go bowling! What is going on?
10. Purdue (3-6, 2-4)
11. Nebraska (4-5, 2-4)
If a tree falls and Nebraska doesn’t make a bowl game, will anyone give a rats ass?
12. Northwestern (1-7, 0-6)
The inbox at hashtag: #idontcare is so damn full. Northwestern has the worst scoring offense in the entire country.
13. Maryland (3-6, 1-5)
I wrote a blog about blogging.
14. Rutgers (2-7, 0-6)
Rutgers is the only team in the country that’s in the bottom six in scoring defense and offense.