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Big Ten Football Power Rankings: Week Six

There’s that head-scratching loss we’ve been waiting for!

NCAA Football: Purdue at Penn State John Jones-USA TODAY Sports

Well that sucked!

While Iowa failed to put up more than three points against a vulnerable Michigan team, we watched as some of our conference brethren score at least seven points while lining up against outmatched foes, while five other teams cracked at least 34.

We can re-litigate Iowa’s offense all we want, so we’re going to right here:

That’s it! That’s the whole Tweet!

1. Ohio State (6-0, 3-0)

The mighty mighty Buckeyes ground Michigan State into a bloody pulp in a game that had a chance to be a spoiler, but this wasn’t even as close as the score would indicate. Justin Fields is a Heisman Contender, as is JK Dobbins and this is the team that’s going to represent the Big Ten in the College Football Playoff.

It makes sense. Because OSU is the most complete team in the nation. And no one is talking about them.

2. Wisconsin (5-0, 2-0)

The Badgers shut out Kent State Saturday and that’s all I’m spending on them this week.

3. Penn State (5-0, 2-0)

It’s about time I gave some GD respect to the Nits leading up to our matchup with them this weekend. Penn State has absolutely mollywhopped everyone on their schedule thus far (save for a HAPLESS Pitt team), so I’m still really skeptical of this squad. Sam Clifford and the PSU receivers could be OSU lite, but they haven’t really played nobody, Pawl.

And well, in a week after Michigan got to the Iowa quarterback eight times, Penn State got to Purdue’s QBs... T E N times.

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

4. Minnesota (5-0, 2-0)

They deserve to be here. Goddammit. Rodney Smith is the running back no one is talking about and everything else about the Gophers is fine. Except for its schedule.

5. Michigan (4-1, 2-1)

The Wolverines will drop here because they simply are not that good. But lucky for them, Iowa is quite a great deal less good and they are benefiting from this slot before they head to Penn State and Notre Dame at home after taking on Illinois this week. Iowa-Michigan was a bad game with bad teams and we should all feel bad.

6. Iowa (4-1, 1-1)

I don’t have blind optimism that things will get better for the Hawkeyes, but this defense is good enough to win at least nine games. The offense was good enough to win 12 games, but there are some X factors that prevent that pipe dream from happening. We all know what those X factors are. Because those X factors have been around this program for 21 years and counting.

I will not be surprised by any outcome against Penn State this week. A win of any sort will remove the bad taste left from Michigan. A loss will turn apathy all the way to 11 as we begin our countdown to basketball season. I have to have faith this team will turn things around.

Wait. Why do I have to have faith?

7. Michigan State (4-2, 2-1)

I mean, the Spartans are fine. They held Ohio State to a season-low 34 points! They have Wisconsin and Penn State in their next two games and this is looking very much like a wheels coming off situation for Dark Mantonio.

8. Nebraska (4-2, 2-1)

I’m afraid this is simply by default because everyone else in this godforsaken league polishes turds for a living. Adrian Martinez is out with a knee injury, and his backup might actually be better!

But let’s not forget it took a field goal, with time expiring, from a converted walk-on safety, for Nebraska to beat Northwestern.

9. Maryland (3-2, 1-1)

They scored 48 points this weekend so they get to crack the top 10.

10. Indiana (3-2, 0-2)

They didn’t play this weekend so they get to crack the top 10.

11. Northwestern (1-4, 0-3)

Is Fitzgerald Fatigue the same as Ferentz Fatigue? I don’t know but I bet all 18 Northwestern fans are pretty upset that the Wildcats just lost to a hapless Nebraska team after having a somewhat close game against Wisconsin!

Death, taxes, and Fatty Pitz bitching to the media.

(FWIW I agree with him)

12. Purdue (1-4, 0-2)

The season is basically lost without Rondale Moore and Elijah Sindelar.

That is, until they get to play Iowa.

13. Illinois (2-3, 0-2)

Illinois has allowed at least 40 points in its last two games. I honestly don’t see that stat changing anytime soon.

That is, until they get to play Iowa.

14. Rutgers (1-4, 0-3)

And it’s not particularly close.

Teams I would rather see in the Big Ten over Rutgers, ranked:

  1. North Dakota State
  2. St. Thomas (Minn)
  3. South Dakota State
  4. Appalachian State
  5. Yale
  6. Dayton
  7. Getting hit by a car
  8. Notre Dame