(taps on a single standing microphone in the middle of a dark stage as a funky 2004 rap beat starts bumping through the speakers)
HELLOOOOOO my sweet, sweet Iowa commentors. Oh how I have missed thee. Let’s not let anymore time waste with re-introductions and chit chat about the weather (Ya’ll are getting snow lolz?!) and get right back into business.
Q: Do you think JBo will play this year? Also, can you please break down the Iowa Field Hockey team’s chances of winning the National Championship? - MdHawkeye
Q: How quick do we see Jordan Bohannon playing? - WaterlooChazz
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about JoBo basically since the Penn State loss and here’s the deal, I think he’s coming back. I know that currently goes against everything we’ve heard about him and the surgery he had, but I can’t help but think he’s going to push to make it happen. Why exactly? So glad you asked:
- He played an entire year with that labral tear and chose to get shot up before every single game just to keep his junior season going. Even at its most unbearable, JoBo was still on the court dropping 3-bombs in the tournament like nothing was even wrong. I barely noticed a wince. The dude is already one of the toughest, grittiest players I’ve seen in an Iowa basketball uniform, so why wouldn’t he push as hard as he could to get back on the court THIS season?
- This was supposed to be closer to an 8-month recovery period. But that timeline is probably more for a peon like you and me. Not JoBo. According to the DOC (Scott Dochterman) “the misery has subsided” and he’s already shooting, dribbling and cutting. While I haven’t seen that he’s been cleared to do anything beyond that, the fact that he’s already doing everything else is a huge, huge sign in my opinion. The only thing left to accomplish is contact. But the sheer fact that he’s been able to run and work himself into shape while shooting jumpers is important.
- Ryan Kriener and JoBo are best friends, roommates and seniors. Take from that what you will, but I feel like these two want to end it all together:
4. JoBo has said that he wants to be 100% in his final season of college basketball, but don’t you think 100% for a guy like JoBo is like 50% for a normal dude? Say he’s realistically 65-75% right now. Isn’t it worth sitting out most of the non-conference schedule to get another month worth of healing in? That would put him right around 6-months of recovery and he wouldn’t have to take a redshirt and watch game in and game out his teammates go to battle without him. That literally sounds like I would be a weekly dagger in the heart for him...
“I think it’s giving me a little bit of an itch, being on the sidelines and working out individually,” Bohannon said. “Seeing the guys collectively practicing, it’s making me want to be out there and try to contribute as much as possible. That’s kind of my mindset — I want to help the team as much as possible.
“If I’m able to play, I’ll play.”
Guys like JoBo don’t just sit on the sidelines if they are able to play. Not to beat a dead horse, but the dude played with a tear in his hip for an entire season. This is all about pain management and he’s proven that pain means literally nothing to him.
6. REVENGE BEARD!!!!
As a guy that is currently growing a beard to prove to my old company that they can literally suck a fat one, there is nothing more telling than growing a legit revenge beard.
BREAKING AS OF 11:47 ET RIGHT WHEN I WENT TO POST THIS:
FM: I think Jordan Bohannon will play on Monday. He had a good practice, is getting back into it. #Hawkeyes— Iowa Basketball (@IowaHoops) October 30, 2019
As far as the women’s field hockey team, allow me to let my guy rupertj give you the only synopsis you need:
“I’d like to elaborate on this for people who don’t pay attention to field hockey. Iowa is #9. They dropped a spot this week for beating #10 Northwestern (pollsters…). (They are) 6-1 in conference play, (with their) only loss to 7-1 #2 Maryland. They have to play #8 Michigan in the season finale. A win gives them a share of the conference title. Iowa’s losses this year are to (current rankings): #1 UNC on opening weekend (UNC scored twice in the 4th quarter to win 2-1), #4 Duke in 2OT, #3 Maryland, and #5 Louisville in OT. Iowa has wins over #20 Wake Forest, #22 OSU, #16 Rutgers, #11 Northwestern.
So, they take care of business with the teams behind them, and are this close to the top handful of teams.”
So you’re saying there’s a chance?!
Q: What’s your stance on candy corn? - EnergizerHawk
Q: Favorite Halloween Candy? - WaterlooChazz
Candy Corn is the worst. Honestly, if my kid walked up to a house that gave out candy corn I think I would have them open the pack and throw each and every kernel back at the guilty party. Candy Corn is earwax with sugar. Disgusting.
Favorite is and always will be pumpkin shaped Reese’s.
Q: Please Name the top 5 scorers for Iowa men’s basketball this year...
- Rhombus Jersey
- JoBo (just explained this in fine detail)
- Weezy F. Baby - Do you hear that? That faint but distinguishable “dooooo-do, doooooo-do, doooooo-do”? That’s Weezy’s NBA style game coming closer and closer to innocent Big Ten bystanders lazily swimming in his ocean. I’ve predicted break out seasons before, but I’ve never been more sure of one like I am right now. This kid has everything in his toolbox to take over games for Fran McCaffery (especially early on with a limited JoBo). All of Tyler Cook’s touches belong to him now. It’s time to seek and destroy.
- Luka Garza - the peacock is going to fly beautifully this season. That is all.
- Patrick McCaffery - you didn’t think the 64th ranked player in the class of 2019 would sit by and watch the likes of Cordell Pemsl and Ryan Kriener take his minutes and touches did you? Hell no those guys are great but Patrick McCaffery is on a different level talent wise. Sure he’s a freshman, but one that is capable of crushing bigger and smaller matchups alike. He has tremendous feel and touch on his jumper, can pass and dribble just as well if not better than his baseball loving brother and has flashed the ability to play above the rim. Plus, he should be able to play the 2-4 (and dare I say small ball 5) at various points of the year. This is the future of Iowa basketball and he should get every opportunity from his pops to succeed in his offense
- Cordell Pemsl/Kriener - Consider this the Tyler Cook fill in rule. Personally, I like Kriener. I think every time he finds his way onto the court good things generally happen.
Q: Hey Jerry - Long ago, football was played by Iron men, those who played both ways, all 60 minutes. Which players on today’s team would play both ways? Also, who would you rather start at QB next year, Petras or Mansell? (Or Hogan/Padilla)
My Iron Men shortlist:
- Tristan Wirfs - Honestly, I’m shocked he hasn’t played a few pass rushing downs. He’s a master at hand placement, thinks the game and is a beast in the weight room. At the very least he would be one of those “Iowa All-American DT’s” that just take on two blockers every down and lets his linebackers behind him clean up shop.
- Ihmir Smith-Marsette/Tyler Goodson- You mean to tell me Phil Parker couldn’t turn these two into ballhawking corners in the matter of weeks?
- AJ Epenesa - I’d put him at center or guard and let him pull all the time. And if I really, REALLY wanted to get weird, why not let him Tony Moeaki his way to 10 touchdown catches?
As far as the quarterback situation, everyone knows I’m a firm believer that Duece-a-mania is going to take over Iowa City and that little ball of spirit and fire is going to win a Heisman Trophy while on campus. We talk about it nearly weekly on the various SpoCo Radio shows that we do, but I’m really starting to believe that Brian Ferentz wants to run an offense with a more mobile quarterback while his father wants to keep it “pro-style” until the end of days.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m hopeful that Spencer Petras can come in and be a solid QB with all of the weapons that will still be on the squad next year, but long term, I think this is Deuce’s to lose.
“First of all, just a winner,” Hogan said. “From elementary P.E. to varsity football games I’ve just won wherever I’ve stepped on the field. Don’t take that as coming across as cocky in any way, but I’m very confident I’m going to win games. That’s just who I am. Secondly, in terms of how I’m going to play the game, I’m a pro-style passer, that’s who I am.
“It’s going to be a mind game. I’m going to make the defensive coordinator at Ohio State pull his hair out. I’m going to enjoy it, that’s what I’m going to do. I love the whole chess game of it. The Iowa system is going to fit great and it’s going to translate to the next level for me. They’re going to get a pro-style quarterback and definitely somebody that’s going to win football games.”
Q: Jerry, ask chuck longs mom if her son would give up that kush studio gig for a taste of calling plays for the Hawks. Them clown Okies ran him off, i promise we wouldn’t. - Ghostwedge
Thoughts @Chuck Longs Mom???
Q: Any chance Captain Kirk will retire (soon)…so we can upgrade to a 20th century offense???
LOLz nope, never. He is Iowa Football, damnit.
Q: Hello Jerry - What are you wearing?
A wedding ring and a beard ;)
Thank you all so much for the immense amount of love and support. I will certainly be back next week to answer a few of the other questions I got after I sat down to write this and whatever else you guys throw my way. Love you all.