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Big Ten Football Power Rankings: Week 9

Let’s put lipstick on this pig

NCAA Football: Wisconsin at Ohio State Joe Maiorana-USA TODAY Sports

Well I already had this whole thing written out but somehow lost it while transferring the copy from Google Docs to the blog. So if this seems even more half-assed than usual, that’s why.

It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s Ohio State and the rest.

1. Ohio State (8-0, 5-0)

It’s time to recognize that Justin Fields, JK Dobbins and Chase Young may just be the best players at their positions in the country. And that’s good enough for me. I for one am looking forward to cheering for Ohio State as they take on the SEC in the playoff.

2. Penn State (8-0, 5-0)

There ya are Penn State fans. Are you happy I’ve put you here now? Thanks for setting the table for Phil Parker to get the Michigan State job, jerks.

3. Minnesota (8-0, 5-0)

I’m probably gonna make one of those talk to your kids about an undefeated Minnesota videos soon.

4. Wisconsin (6-2, 3-2)

So Jack Coan is the same quarterback Wisconsin has always had, and I’m getting the sense Badger fans don’t like Paul Chryst very much! Uh oh Wisconsin don’t lose three in a row here!

5. Iowa (6-2, 3-2)

Stood up in a wedding party full of Badgers in Milwaukee on Saturday. I shit you not, every time we flipped to the Iowa game it was fourth down for either Iowa or jNW.

6. Michigan (6-2, 3-2)

They should be No. 5 but w/e. I have to kinda respect Harbaugh suffocating Notre Dame and blocking out all the noise after his teams slow start. Beating Ohio State would be an objectively hilarious outcome this year.

7. Indiana (6-2, 3-2)

Nine wins is not out of the realm of possibility here and my goodness we should be thankful we don’t play Indiana this year.

8. Michigan State (4-4, 2-3)

I was ready to chastise Michigan State for setting the table for Dr. Phil, but their next four games (Illinois, @ Michigan, @ Rutgers and Maryland) are incredibly winnable and could salvage things for Dark Mantonio.

9. Illinois (4-4, 2-3)

Remember when people used to fight over who was worse, Rutgers or Illinois?

10-14. Nebraska, Northwestern, Purdue, Rutgers Maryland

I have neither the desire nor bandwidth to rank these teams after a browser error AND following a weekend where I took four firkins of Spotted Cow to the dome.