clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

TAKE MY MONEY: YOUR GUIDE TO GAMBLING ON WEEK 11 OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL

CATURDAY, CATURDAY CATURDAY

I think we did well last week? Honestly at this point of the season I’m keeping less track of my college football wagers and am more conscious the weather, keeping a very close eye to when it finally gets cold enough to where I can wear my winter coat. And I’m excited to wear my winter coat because I’ve learned I can easily conceal 11 beers within its lining without anyone noticing.

Work is about to get a lot more interesting!

But this isn’t a lifehack blog, this is a gambling blog. So here’s your winners:

Michigan State +3.5 vs. Ohio State

I don’t know who’s playing quarterback for Michigan State. I would feel a lot better as a bettor in this wager if Rocky Lombardi was lining up under center instead of Brian Lewerke but that’s neither here nor there.

What I do know, however, is that Dwane Haskins is playing QB for Ohio State. And if whoever the hell is running the show for Nebraska’s defense was able to slow him down, I feel pretty confident that Pat Narduzzi Harlon Barnett Mike Tressel can make Haskins look like an even bigger idiot. I also love home dogs and 3.5 points is HOT.

Wazzu -6 at Colorado

It could be enticing to gamble on the Buffs here after Wazzu just had a close-ish call against fuckin’ Cal last week, but let’s remember Colorado is on a four-game losing streak and Gardner Minshew’s Mustache has absolutely no plans of letting streaks end.

Purdue -12 at Minnesota

This may as be a neutral-site game seeing as how literally no one claims to cheer for either of these teams. And that’s good for Purdue! David Blough is going to carve up Minnesota’s secondary -- a secondary that’s been working under a new defensive coordinator the past week since the last guy got canned after coaching a unit that allowed over 600 offensive yards to ILLINOIS.

Jeff Brohm is just going to mail this game tape instead of a résumé to Louisville.

Georgia -14 at Auburn

Auburn is hot off a win over A&M that significantly cooled Gus Malzahn’s seat, which is a huge bummer for Auburn fans everywhere. Ha! That’ll last!

Georgia is here to work out any and all kinks before it avenges last year’s loss to Alabama in this year’s SEC Championship game. So look for Smart Kirby to throw a whole bunch of weird shit at Auburn and see if it sticks. Or not! Georgia can (and probably will) roll out a vanilla gameplan here and will still beat Auburn by four scores.

And seven years ago.

Navy +27 at UCF

You know what I hate? Iowa football. My “free” LinkedIn trial. Almond milk. Tabasco hot sauce.

What do all those things have in common?

They’re all frauds! Phonies, philanderers and phakers — the whole lot! And unless you’re an Iowa State graduate, you know where I’m going with this.

UCF must be stopped. And Navy is here to save the day, just like they saved the day in ‘76, ‘12, ‘44 and ‘56.

Try and guess which years I’m referring to with those half-dates, you won’t!

Anyway, I love service academies getting 20 points or more and I hate this trash Guy Fawkes mask of a football team that is UCF. So let’s score one for the boys back home here and cover!