The end of the football season is nigh and frankly I couldn’t be more relieved that we no longer have to talk about Noah Fant’s brother and playcalling and Nebraska fans for like eight more months.
So we got Ohio State-Northwestern in the Big Ten Championship. Jim Harbaugh really shit the bed this time, didn’t he? I don’t want to say I’ll be cheering for Northwestern, but I’ll be cheering for Northwestern. Playoff implications be damned, let’s see Patty Fitz out-coach Urbs on national television.
1. Ohio State (11-1, 8-1)
So maybe Dwayne Haskins (and the rest of Ohio State I guess) is good? It is possible Michigan might suck, however. I don’t know. What I do know is I DO NOT want Ohio State in the playoff. Hopefully Purdue can be enough to keep the Buckeyes out of the post season.
2. Northwestern (8-4, 8-1)
The Big Ten West leader deserves to be here. The fact that they only beat Illinois by one score is concerning!
3. Michigan (10-2, 8-1)
Michigan is just like Iowa, in that they had every chance to win their division and instead opted to sit on their thumbs for three and half hours. Can’t wait to beat them in Ann Arbor next year.
4. Penn State (9-3, 6-3)
Penn State quietly has a chance at 10 wins this season. They will loudly suck next season.
5. Iowa (8-4, 5-4)
I wanted to put Purdue here, but losing to Minnesota is unforgivable.
6. Purdue (6-6, 5-4)
Purdue only won six games this year ... are we sure Brian Brohm is a good coach!?!?!
7. Michigan State (7-5, 5-4)
They only beat rutger by 4. What the hell Sparty?!? The Big Ten sucks so much it’s not even funny.
8. Wisconsin (7-5, 5-4)
Who else do you put here? Maryland? NEBRASKA?! Fuck that! I was riding the Paul Chryst train hard until they lost to Minnesota. Like I said, losing to Minnesota is unforgivable. What the hell is going on?
9. Nebraska (4-8,3-6)
I’m pretty shocked to see Nebraska this high on these rankings, but Adrian Martinez has proven to be a more than solid quarterback. If Nebraska could get an offensive line they could be good.
10. Indiana (5-7, 2-7)
Sure, why not.
11. Minnesota (3-6, 6-6)
They get this high of a ranking simply for not being Maryland. Good job by PJ Fleck for capitalizing on the worst Wisconsin team of the last decade. Don’t think he’ll be getting the Axe anytime soon. Well yes, he’s getting the axe, but not the Axe.
12. Maryland (5-7, 3-6)
Does Matt Canada stay at Maryland? If I were him I’d take literally any other coaching job available. Hell maybe he could try starting up a European league that’d be fun.
13. Illinois (4-6, 2-7)
Good job on extending Lovie Smith, Illinois. Your commitment to sucking is something we can all aspire to.
14. rutger (1-11, 0-9)
Went to my last wedding of 2018 this past weekend. Another between two Hawks! Someone brought a Hawkeye flag, took a nice big group photo with the Tiger Hawk, it was a real classy affair.