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COLLEGE FOOTBALL WATCH GUIDE: WEEK 12

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IT’S THE TIME OF YEAR THE SEC TAKES A VACATION

Notre Dame v Northwestern Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images

If only it was still fall, and I could spend this Shitty Saturday ignoring football and do yard work instead. Nevermind the fact I don’t have a “yard,” I would go and rake my neighbor’s leaves just to prove a point that the SEC needs to stop scheduling ASS this late in the season.

Just look at this!

Disgusting.

Speaking of disgusting, let’s talk about what’s going on TONIGHT. It’s MACTION MACTION MACTION with Toledo vs. Kent State but Tulane at Houston could decide the AAC West and I know you guys care so much about the “Big Ten West of the South.”

THURSDAY

Matchup Time (PT) TV Streaming
Matchup Time (PT) TV Streaming
Toledo at Kent State 6:00 PM CBSSN CBSSports.com
Tulane at Houston 8:00 PM ESPN WatchESPN.com
Florida Atlantic at North Texas 9:30 PM CBSSN CBSSports.com
11/15

There’s nothing worth watching Friday night, unfortunately. There might be some good basketball, depending on which teams won their first games of their Caribbean tournaments.

FRIDAY

Matchup Time (PT) TV Streaming
Matchup Time (PT) TV Streaming
#25 Boise State at New Mexico 9:00 PM CBSSN CBSSports.com
Memphis at SMU 9:00 PM ESPN2 WatchESPN.com
11/16

And now SATURDAY, where we have the privilege of watching Idaho-Florida while we sit around and wait for the dumpster fire that will be Iowa-Illinois to start.

Forgive my earlier hyperbole, but there are some decent games this weekend. It does pain me to say Iowa State-Texas might just be the best one. Iowa State will be Iowa’s best win this year, regardless of who we play in a bowl game. Just deal with it boys and girls.

Iowa State-Texas is on the Longhorn Network, however, so nobody is going to get to watch that. Sorry not sorry Iowa State!

Syracuse-Notre Dame could be good, and I love the trope that Notre Dame always fiddlefucks itself, but this team is just too dang talented. HOWEVAH, Eric Dungey is a goddam outlaw and he’s the kind of talent that rips apart teams like Notre Dame at 1:30 PM (wtf kinda kickoff time is that?) on NBC.

You can tell yourself Duke-Clemson is going to be good. That would be a fun conversation to have.

Me: hey, let’s tune into Duke-Clemson while we wait for Iowa State-Texas to start

Also me: hey, how about instead, let’s pop a box of pizza rolls into the microwave and bite into each and every one immediately after we remove them from cooking.

Good times, me and my only friend.

And finally, Cincy-UCF might be a good time, simply because UCF is hosting Gameday for the first time in history. Washington State also hosted Gameday for the first time a few weeks ago. What a year to pop your Gameday cherry.

Remember when Iowa hosted Gameday? Me neither.

SATURDAY

Matchup Time (PT) TV Streaming
Matchup Time (PT) TV Streaming
The Citadel at #1 Alabama 12:00 PM SEC Network WatchESPN.com
#10 Ohio State at Maryland 12:00 PM ABC WatchESPN.com
Idaho at #13 Florida 12:00 PM ESPNU WatchESPN.com
#14 Penn State at Rutgers 12:00 PM BTN FoxSportsGo.com
Middle Tennessee at #17 Kentucky 12:00 PM SEC Network WatchESPN.com
Arkansas at #21 Mississippi State 12:00 PM ESPN WatchESPN.com
#22 Northwestern at Minnesota 12:00 PM BTN FoxSportsGo.com
South Florida at Temple 12:00 PM ESPNews WatchESPN.com
Colgate at Army 12:00 PM CBSSN CBSSports.com
Michigan State at Nebraska 12:00 PM FOX FoxSportsGo.com
TCU at Baylor 12:00 PM FS1 FoxSportsGo.com
Pittsburgh at Wake Forest 12:00 PM ACC Network WatchESPN.com
NC State at Louisville 12:20 PM ACC Network WatchESPN.com
#19 Utah at Colorado 1:30 PM Pac-12 Networks Pac-12.com
#23 Utah State at Colorado State 2:00 PM AT&T SportsNet WatchStadium.com
Florida Intl at Charlotte 2:00 PM ESPN3 WatchESPN.com
VMI at Old Dominion 2:00 PM ESPN+ ESPN+
#12 Syracuse at #3 Notre Dame 2:30 PM NBC NBCSports.com
UTSA at Marshall 2:30 PM None Facebook
Georgia State at Appalachian State 2:30 PM ESPN+ ESPN+
Western Carolina at North Carolina 3:00 PM ACC Network WatchESPN.com
UL Monroe at Arkansas State 3:00 PM ESPN+ ESPN+
#9 West Virginia at Oklahoma State 3:30 PM ABC WatchESPN.com
#20 Boston College at Florida State 3:30 PM ESPN2 WatchESPN.com
Tulsa at Navy 3:30 PM CBSSN CBSSports.com
Texas State at Troy 3:30 PM ESPN+ ESPN+
Louisiana Tech at Southern Mississippi 3:30 PM Stadium WatchStadium.com
Wisconsin at Purdue 3:30 PM BTN FoxSportsGo.com
Bowling Green at Akron 3:30 PM ESPN3 WatchESPN.com
Virginia at Georgia Tech 3:30 PM ACC Network WatchESPN.com
Miami at Virginia Tech 3:30 PM ESPN WatchESPN.com
Texas Tech at Kansas State 3:30 PM ESPNU WatchESPN.com
Iowa at Illinois 3:30 PM BTN FoxSportsGo.com
Missouri at Tennessee 3:30 PM CBS CBSSports.com
USC at UCLA 3:30 PM FOX FoxSportsGo.com
Indiana at #4 Michigan 4:00 PM FS1 FoxSportsGo.com
UMass at #5 Georgia 4:00 PM SEC Network WatchESPN.com
Liberty at Auburn 4:00 PM SEC Network WatchESPN.com
Air Force at Wyoming 4:00 PM ESPNews WatchESPN.com
Oregon State at #18 Washington 4:30 PM Pac-12 Networks Pac-12.com
Georgia Southern at Coastal Carolina 5:00 PM ESPN+ ESPN+
South Alabama at Louisiana 5:00 PM ESPN3 WatchESPN.com
Nevada at San Jose State 5:00 PM ESPN3 WatchESPN.com
Duke at #2 Clemson 7:00 PM ESPN WatchESPN.com
UConn at East Carolina 7:00 PM CBSSN CBSSports.com
UAB at Texas A&M 7:00 PM ESPN2 WatchESPN.com
Kansas at #6 Oklahoma 7:30 PM FOX FoxSportsGo.com
Rice at #7 LSU 7:30 PM ESPNU WatchESPN.com
Ole Miss at Vanderbilt 7:30 PM SEC Network WatchESPN.com
Stanford at California 7:30 PM Pac-12 Networks Pac-12.com
Chattanooga at South Carolina 7:30 PM SEC Network WatchESPN.com
UTEP at Western Kentucky 7:30 PM beIN Sports beINSports.com
#24 Cincinnati at #11 UCF 8:00 PM ABC WatchESPN.com
#16 Iowa State at #15 Texas 8:00 PM Longhorn Network WatchESPN.com
New Mexico State at BYU 10:15 PM ESPN2 WatchESPN.com
Arizona at #8 Washington State 10:30 PM ESPN WatchESPN.com
San Diego State at Fresno State 10:30 PM CBSSN CBSSports.com
Arizona State at Oregon 10:30 PM Pac-12 Networks Pac-12.com
UNLV at Hawai'i 11:00 PM Spectrum Sports PPV Stadium (App only)
11/17

As for what I’m drinking this weekend? WELL it’s Friendsgiving SZN amongst my Instagram-horny friends, who all seem to be married or cuffed at this point, so I’m showing up to their house with the gift that keeps on giving:

No, this is just for me. What’re you guys gonna drink?