COLLEGE FOOTBALL VIEWING GUIDE: WEEK 6

I am just itching for some football after spending the past two weeks in the Godless, football-less wasteland known as Europe and I could not be more excited for the date I have with my couch this Saturday.

It’s not the best week matchup-wise, but there’s a couple marquee games and Iowa plays Minnesota in the new Kinnick North, so our palates are bound to be satiated with this slate.

There’s a couple games Thursday to get us started. They’re ass.

NOTE: all times below are eastern, because that’s the way it is. Sorry.

Thursday

We have Georgia State taking on a red-hot Troy team, fresh off beating Nebraska four weeks ago in Lincoln. Should be electric.

Later on we have Tulsa at Houston. A Houston team that is no longer coached by Tom Herman. That’s all I got.

Friday

Yes, I’m going to watch every single snap of Georgia Tech-Louisville. You mad? If you’re not you should be.

Saturday

It’s fitting that my preferred mobile sports app has Illinois-Rutgers as the first game listed for Saturday’s slate. If you think I’m not going to nibble a little on that shit sandwich you’re nuts.

Fortunately for everyone with eyeballs, Texas-Oklahoma kicks off at the same time as the aforementioned “football” “game” so we’re gonna get ourselves a full serving of what should be the most competitive installation of the Red River Rivalry since a Bush was president.

Maryland-Michigan and Northwestern-Michigan State are the other early Big Ten games. If the game wasn’t in Ann Arbor I’d say Maryland might have a chance, but that’s not the way the cookie crumbles.

Some games kickoff at 11:20 and 11:30 for some reason. I don’t wanna talk about those.

The only matchup between ranked teams in the afternoon comes between LSU and Florida at 2:30 in Gainesville. CBS gets the billing for that bout and I look forward to listening to coach O drag his tar-dipped larynx across the swamp.

Thankfully I live with two other degenerates so we boast a gaudy two-TV system in our living room. You know the Hawkeyes will be on TV1 and the fighting O’s on TV2.

Also at 2:30-3ish we have Miami shit-stomping Florida State, Oklahoma State slinging mud at Iowa State and Ohio State may be on upset alert when Indiana comes to town. But probably not.

There’s only one game really worth watching in the evening; two if you’re into schadenfreude. As of this writing, the Badgers are only 18.5-point favorites over Nebraska, which doesn’t make much sense to me.

From a competitive standpoint, Notre Dame at Virginia Tech should be pretty solid. It’s the last tough test for the Irish all year. I don’t think the Hokies are that good, but we’re cheering for them because we have a brain and a heart.

Utah-Stanford could be interesting and Auburn could sneaky be on upset alert in Starksville, but overall I find this to be a relatively milquetoast weekend.

Luckily we’re gonna bring home the bacon and all will be well.

And my beverage of choice? I’m fresh off one of the hardest drinking stretches of my life from Oktoberfest, so I’m giving my liver a much deserved break.

Do your liver a favor and get a sixer of some Diet Hansen’s. It’s real tasty.