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The Pre-Comment Bag: Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Mother Goose? More like Father Hawk.

NCAA Football: Fresno State at Minnesota Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

You know the drill. I write a little column, you submit your questions for this weeks bag in the comments or on Twitter by shooting them over to @JerryScherwin. Since last week I blew your minds by giving credit to those Bucky you-know-whats, I’ll try something different in hopes that we become friends again.

So, for this to work, I need all of you to sit opposite a Minnesota fan and hold their hands, OR put that little baby fan on your lap facing you and “Row” back and forth to the beat.

Oh, and don’t forget to squeak and scream when you see the turtle and hawk! We need to make this as real as possible.

Row, row, row your boat

Gently down the stream

Angrily, angrily, angrily, angrily

Winning the Big Ten West is but a dream.

Row, row, row your boat

Angrily up the creek,

When you see a calvert turtle

Don’t forget to squeak!

Row, row, row your boat

Angrily down the stream

And when you see the eye of a Hawk

Don’t forget to scream!

Row, row, row your boat

Angrily back to shore

And when you see a big bronze pig

Don’t forget to kiss that shit goodbye for the fourth year in a row because Minnesota can’t beat Kirk and Brian Ferentz with an entire week to prepare because they both hate P.J. Fleck so much that losing this game would make them shrivel up and die.

Many people call me the song bird of my generation, but I feel like that sells me a little short.

Talk to you all Friday.