TAKE MY MONEY: YOUR GUIDE TO BETTING WEEK 5 OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Hello hello hello, welcome back to this sad, dark corner of the internet.

It’s with a heavy heart that I tell you all that Purdue doesn’t play this weekend. I’m sad we won’t be able to ride the cash cow that have been the Boilermakers all season long.

But no matter! I have a hole bunch of tasty shit cooked up for you, dear reader, to sink your cash-strapped teeth into.

So, without further ado, allow me to present where this week’s beer money is coming from:

IOWA +3.5 (140) AT MICHIGAN STATE (-160)

The game: holy hell, Iowa is getting three and a half points in East Lansing. I’m prepared to call this Spartan team BAD, and I’m not even sure if the crowd will be a factor. I’m not worried about this team playing a let down after getting punched in the gut by Penn State. Give me the Hawks and a Casey’s breakfast pizza.

The over/under is 44. Take the over I dunno.

WASHINGTON STATE +5 (+165) VS. USC (-190)

The game: Washington State is undefeated ATS and in the record book this year, so we’re gonna keep on riding Wazzu. This is probably the biggest home game since Mike Leach has been in Pullman. I kind of like USC here, but we’re not going to go against our pony here. And who doesn’t love a little #PAC12AfterDark on a Friday?!

The over/under is 62.5. Take it.

MINNESOTA -13 (-550) VS. MARYLAND (+420)

The game: Maryland is on its 13th quarterback right now, and I just don’t think that’s gonna be good enough to give these boat-towers their first loss of the season.

The over/under is I’m not even looking it up.

WASHINGTON -27 VS. OREGON STATE

The game: we’re just going to bet on the entire state of Washington this weekend. Don’t @ me.

The over/under is 20 beers for Ben on Saturday.

BENNY’S B1G TEASER (TM) ALERT

For the first time all year, we’re going to RIDE a Benny’s B1G Teaser (TM). These are special, as I usually only divulge the BBT to patrons in the sticky-floored pool halls of Chicago.

So, this week we’re cooking a three-team, 10-point parlay. Here’s who we got:

Wisconsin -4.5 vs. Northwestern (if you got any fuzz on that peach you could just moneyline Wisconsin too).

Iowa +13.5 vs. Michigan State.

Minnesota -3.5 vs. Maryland.

You. Are. Welcome.

As always, my Venmo is @ben-ross-16. No one has paid me yet, but they should.