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We are who we thought we were

Penn State v Iowa Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images

Look at that, we are already about one third of the way done with this college football season. It’s sad to think about. But like I said yesterday, don’t be sad that it’s over, be glad that it happened.

There was some stagnancy with a handful of B1G teams on the bye, and the weird new scheduling means that some teams didn’t play a conference foe this week. We did learn that Nebraska is at least better than Rutgers! And Michigan State crapped its pants against Notre Dame. Maybe this is year two of rebuilding over there?

Anyway, these are the most correct power rankings you’ll read all week, so don’t bother clicking anything else, it will give your brain a virus.

1. Penn State (4-0, 1-0)

Yep, Penn State is the team to beat in the B1G this year, and it sucks to write as much as it does to say. Penn State played one hell of a game, and you need to give Saquon Barkley the Heisman now. The Nits do have a pretty tough schedule this year, so they’ll have to prove their mettle against the rest of the conference.

2. Iowa (3-1, 0-1)

FIGHT ME. Wisconsin was on a bye so I penalized them, Ohio State played a cupcake this week and Michigan hasn’t really shown much to be impressed with. Iowa played the best friggin’ team in the conference to the wire, and this is where they belong, dammit.

3. Ohio State (3-1, 1-0)

Ohio State dominated a hapless UNLV squad, which is something you shouldn’t be impressed with. UNLV lost to HOWARD, if you recall, in the greatest upset in college football history in week one. Almost half of JT Barrett’s completions went for touchdowns in this game, so he might be back on track, or UNLV might just be that bad. I lean towards the latter.

4. Wisconsin (3-0)

Sconnie had a bye. I think the Badge are probably better than OSU, but whatever that’s what next week’s power rankings are for.

5. Michigan (4-0, 1-0)

Michigan got a HEARTBREAKING backdoor cover against Purdue, but really the Wolverines weren’t as dominating as the box score may suggest. The Wilton Speight era is likely over in Ann Arbor, which is too bad, because I think John O’Korn is the better QB.

6. Purdue (2-2, 0-1)

Purdue deserves to be here. The Boilers are going to upset some teams this year, and I hope to God Iowa is not one of them. Purdue did get shut out in the second half against Michigan, so that could spell some trouble for the emotions of this team, but I’m not too worried. Purdue is a literal and metaphorical money train for me this season, and we need the Boilers to get back on the horse after the bye week here.

7. Indiana (2-1, 0-1)

The Hoosiers just stomped all over Georgia Southern, and it looks like Richard Lagow may have won the starting QB job back, which is awesome, because a QB wearing #21 is some of the most baller shit you can do. Indiana is a 17-point dog at Penn State this week, and yeah that actually sounds about right.

8. Minnesota (3-0)

Minnesota had a bye. We won’t really know anything about the Goofs until it plays an ailing Maryland squad this week, and even that won’t be a great barometer since it looks like the Terps may have lost their top-two quarterbacks for at the very least a good chunk of time. That’s all I got.

9. Northwestern (2-1)

Northwestern had a bye. The only reason they’re this high is because the Wildcats still have their health. I can’t say the same about Maryland.

10. Maryland (2-1)

The Terps lost its second-string QB in a convincing loss to UCF. It looked as though this was going to be a competitive team this year, but I’m afraid there aren’t many third-string QBs around that can help a team meet expectations.

11. Michigan State (2-1)

I was never convinced that there would be no hangover from last year for this current Spartan squad, and it showed. My eyes flipped to a TV playing ND-MSU when there was a break in the Iowa game, and it seemed every time I looked, Michigan State was committing a turnover or Notre Dame was scoring a touchdown. I am a little scared Iowa is going into East Lansing after such an emotional loss, but really the Hawkeyes should clean up this squad.

12. Nebraska (2-2, 1-0)

Hey just be glad you’re not No. 13 this week.

13. Rutgers (1-3, 0-1)

Rutgers covered the spread against Nebraska, and that’s all that matters.

14. Illinois (2-1)

Holy crap, I just saw Illinois and Nebraska are playing each other on FS1 Friday night this week. LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS, JIM DELANY, YOU INCOMPETENT BOOB. So now the whole world gets to see the most inept teams in the B1G. Good job, good effort.