THE PANTS PREDICTS: WEEK 3

There really aren’t many (or any) good games this week, not just in the B1G but everywhere. That doesn’t mean we’re not going to make some bold predictions!

Here’s the standings so far through two weeks:

JPinIC: 23-4

BoilerHawk: 23-4

Matt Cabel: 23-4

Jordan Hansen: 23-4

JP Scott: 22-5

Max Brekke: 21-6

Hello Jerry: 20-7

Ben Ross: 17-10

Rob Donaldson: 11-3

Let’s move on to the chlorophyll:

North Texas at Iowa - 2:30pm, ESPN2

Max: I said that this has potential to be a trap game on the podcast earlier this week and predicted the score to be in the 24-10 range. I don’t mean that in the way that Iowa will lose this game, but it would be easy for this to be a letdown game after an emotional victory over Iowa State and before a hyped up conference opener against Penn State. Nate Stanley should be able to take advantage of UNT through the air and the running game shouldn’t be an issue. Hawkeyes roll, but don’t cover. Iowa 41, North Texas 24.

Jordan: The Mean Green are not the Mean Machine and will in fact end up looking like gangrene.

JP Scott: UNT is a lot like Iowa State schematically, just much less talented. Hawkeyes roll 38-10

JPinIC: Iowa’s defense got torched by ISU last weekend. You think the Outlaw is going to stand for that happening two weeks in a row? Me either. Iowa 45, North Texas 10

Matt: 42-14, Iowa. Remember a couple years ago when Iowa won this game 62-16? I think that was the first time I ever saw Iowa hang 60, ever. I would like to see that again, but what I would really like to see is Nate Stanley hitting his wide open receivers in stride.

Rob Donaldson: Let’s see Nate Stanley get that deep ball going this week! This game should be a nice little offensive explosion before the Hawks take on Penn State. Iowa 45, North Texas 7.

Hello Jerry: Starting off with Iowa right off the jump… I like it. I’m a little worried that this has the potential to be a trap game coming off an emotional win at Iowa State and the Penn State game in their peripherals. BUTTTTT I think this Iowa team is solid AF. Iowa 30, North Texas 10.

BoilerHawk: I'm gonna keep these predictions short as I sip bottomless mimosas on a balcony in New Orleans. Iowa 38 - North Texas 10

Ben: Iowa is gonna SLANG it early and often and firmly cement Nate Stanley as a Heisman contender. Iowa 45 - North Texas 3

Illinois at #22 South Florida - Friday at 6pm, ESPN

Max: Illini still bad. South Florida ranked but probably not great either. Going to go with my Bulls to torch Lovie Smith’s boys on Saturday. South Florida 38, Illinois 20.

Jordan: The Illini stink, that’s what I think.

JP Scott: The Illini keep this closer than the experts think. 28-27, USF.

JPinIC: The Illini managed to shock the world last week with the upset over Western Kentucky (no, really - it was an upset). I keep waiting for it all to come crashing down. I think it starts this weekend. USF 35, Illinois 17

Matt: 32-17, USF. Sure!

Rob Donaldson: I’m not even going to pretend like I’ve seen Illinois play this season, because I haven’t. I’ve seen USF play though… USF 35, Illinois 18.

Hello Jerry: Illinois is going to get thrashed at USF. It’s going to be soggy and hot and Lovie Smith is going to have some ugly flashbacks of his days with the Bucs. USF 42, Illinois 17

BoilerHawk: South Florida 31 - Illinois 10

Air Force at #7 Michigan - 11am, BTN

Max: Just like us, Jim Harbaugh has a new podcast. It’s probably not as good, but I’m excited for Tom Crean to make an appearance sometime. Michigan is probably practicing for the triple option by having Jabrill Peppers act as scout team quarterback. Michigan 42, Air Force 12.

Jordan: The Air Force Falcons will fly high, just not enough to make the Maize and Blue cry.

JP Scott: This is Air Force’s Super Bowl. It’s also a giant pain in the ass for Michigan to prepare for right before the B1G season gets going. Michigan wins 34-20.

JPinIC: Have I looked at anything related to Air Force since 2016? No. Has anything changed about them? Doubtful. Michigan 38, Air Force 13

Matt: 56-24, Michigan. Air Force routinely has some of the coolest uniforms in college football. They will not help them against Jim Harbaugh’s milk gang.

Rob Donaldson: Michigan has blown out two teams in two weeks but haven’t looked overly impressive in either one. Odd but true. They still win this game very handily. Michigan 45, Air Force 17.

Hello Jerry: Good luck to Air Force and their triple option offense against a pretty nasty Michigan D. Michigan 28, Air Force 13

BoilerHawk: Michigan 42 - Air Force 14

Ben: Air force has completed 2 passes all season. Michigan by a million.

Northern Illinois at Nebraska - 11am, FS1

Max: Bob Diaco’s defense hunkers down just enough for the Huskers to win. RIP Diesel. Nebraska 31, Northern Illinois 27.

Jordan: Huskies won’t be able to Husk the rind, thought a loss certainly would put Mike Riley in a tight bind.

JP Scott: The Huskers piss off their fan base for a third consecutive week. They win 38-35.

JPinIC: Mike Riley just got an extension. So I’m inclined to believe the proverbial shit is about to hit the fan in Lincoln. The first 2 weeks are a good start for that. Add in the death of Black Friday and we are close. An NIU win would do it, but I think Nebby holds on for dear life and gets a win. Nebraska 31, NIU 30

Matt: 28-21, Nebraska. I don’t think Mike Riley makes it to Black Friday.

Rob Donaldson: Man… would I love to see Nebraska drop two of three games to start the season. It won’t happen. But it would be glorious. Nebraska 38, NIU 17.

Hello Jerry: Fine, I’ll do it. Northern Illinois Fighting Huskies beat Nebraska fresh off of Ned Flanders getting a recruiting extension. NIU 38, Nebby 27

BoilerHawk: Nebraska 35 - NIU 31

Ben: Does NIU still have Jordan Lynch?

#10 Wisconsin at BYU - 2:30pm, ABC

Max: Brigham Young University has not shown that it has a competent offense this season. Meanwhile, the Badgers have lit up their first two opponents in their tune up games and you can expect more of the same here. PALINDROMED. Wisconsin 41, BYU 14.

Jordan: Brigham Young’s mascot is the Cougar, but in the end all they’ll be in this game is losers.

JP Scott: Death. Taxes. Wisconsin. Badger win 34-20.

JPinIC: BYU has already managed to finish a quarter of their season and we are just now heading into week 3. That doesn’t mean they’ve looked particularly good. It’s in Provo so that might give them a sliver of hope, but the Badgers win this one. Wisconsin 24, BYU 13

Matt: 34-7, Wisconsin. Ben’s prediction of Wisconsin being 2015 Iowa continues.

Rob Donaldson: BYU hasn’t looked great this season and I’m still trying to figure this Wisconsin team out. With that said, the Badgers take care of business this weekend on the road. Wisconsin 34, BYU 26.

Hello Jerry: Anyone else to keep watching Alex Hornibrook and Nate Stanley duke it out for the Big Ten west for the next three years? I sure as hell am. Oh… you want a prediction. Bucky Badger 42, BYU not enough points.

BoilerHawk: Wisconsin 31 - BYU 21

Ben: I’m afraid there isn’t enough alcohol out west for the Badger fanbase. Sconnie 45 - BYU 30

Middle Tennessee at Minnesota - 2:30pm, BTN

Max: Minnesota is going full banana, which is ugly. It's going to be an ugly game. Minnesota 24, Middle Tennessee 9.

Jordan: I think Middle Tennessee wins this bout, it for certain won’t be a Gopher rout.

JP Scott: Gophers grind it out on the ground to keep the ball away from a sneaky good quarterback in Brent Stockstill. Fleck’s boys Row the Boat, 45-16

JPinIC: Congrats to the Fightin’ Fleckstones on not looking like hot garbage against an Oregon State team full of it. MTSU ain’t great, but neither is Minnesota. Oh, and did I mention MTSU took down Syracuse last week? This one is going to be closer than the Goofs can stomach. Minnesota 24, MTSU 20

Matt: 34-17, Minnesota. I went to a wedding last weekend that started right when Iowa went down 31-21 and didn’t get to watch any other football for the rest of the day, until I came home around 11 and turned on Minnesota/Oregon State. It was bad. But they should have no trouble with MTSU if they didn’t have any trouble with Oregon State.

Rob Donaldson: Row the boat! Minnesota 35, MTSU 17.

Hello Jerry: Minnesota can’t pass but they can run and DAMN are those new lids b-e-a-utiful. The Flecktones 30, MTSU 14.

BoilerHawk: Minnesota 27 - MTSU 14

Ben: If Minnesota wasn’t wearing those dumbass helmets I’d like their chances better.

Morgan State at rutger - 2:30pm, BTN

Max: rutger had earned the S back after a good showing against Washington, then pissed it all away the next week against Directional Michigan. They probably won’t do that again this week… right? rutger 21, Morgan State 17.

Jordan: Morgan State hasn’t scored a point this season, but will inexplicably keep this game within reason.

JP Scott: Rutgers 12-9 in triple overtime.

JPinIC: Damn it rutger! You go out there and put up an admirable showing against Washington and earn the respect of using your actual name. Then you go out and lose to Eastern Michingan. Eastern effing Michigan. They aren’t the decent directional Michigan. They aren’t even the other directional Michigan. Ugh. rutger 17, Morgan State 13 (Note: I wanted to pick Morgan State so badly here but ESPN doesn’t even have a link to their team page. If rugter loses to them they have no business being included in the weekly picks going forward.)

Matt: 3-2, Morgan State. Hey JPinIC I think we should leave Rutgers out of the weekly picks, period.

Rob Donaldson: Interesting to see Rutgers starting conference play so early this season. Rutgers 21, Morgan State 9.

Hello Jerry: LOL Eastern Michigan. Oh, rutger. Thank god you’re all rich kids that couldn’t get into Duke. rutger with at least one more point than Morgan State.

BoilerHawk: Rutger 35 - Morgan State 14

Ben: I dunno what Morgan State is but I like their chances to beat Rutgers.

Purdue at Missouri - 3pm, SEC Network

Max: Missouri gave up 43 points to Missouri State, then gave up 31 to a not great South Carolina team. I would expect the Boilermakers to have their way with them. If you get this game, expect points. Purdue 47, Missouri 31.

Jordan: Is this finally Purdue’s year? My god I really do need a beer.

JP Scott: I’m buying the hype. Boilermakers win big on the road, 34-17.

JPinIC: Purdue - looking like a decent football team. Playing a little defense, looking good on offense. Mizzou - have given up 74 points through 2 games (including one against Missouri Southern) en route to getting your defensive coordinator fired. Purdue 52, Missouri 24

Matt: 42-37 PURDUE! It’s a damn shame this game is on the SEC Network because I would watch the hell out of it. A good Purdue offense (strange, I know) against one of the worst defenses in all of CFB? BOILER UP!

Rob Donaldson: Purdue is good, Missouri is not. Yes, that is something I just typed out with complete sincerity. Purdue 35, Mizzou 24.

Hello Jerry: It took two weeks, but I’m FINALLY on the Purdue bandwagon (shouts to you Boilerhawk). When was the last time Purdue was this fun? Curtis Painter? I like Purdue covering the 7.5 by winning out right. Purdue 37, Missouri 27.

BoilerHawk: CHOO CHOO Purdue 42 - Missouri 38

Ben: RT BoilerHawk.

Army at #8 Ohio State - 3:30pm, FOX

Max: Army is in the wrong place at the wrong time. JT Barrett totals five touchdowns. Ohio State 52, Army 3.

Jordan: The Buckeyes are irate, the Black Knights should probably just hibernate.

JP Scott: This will get ugly in a hurry, as the Buckeyes are a wounded bear. 56-0, Ohio State.

JPinIC: The Buckeyes aren’t used to losing. I expect them to go full Bill Belichick on Army. OSU 59, Army 6

Matt: 34-10 OSU. If JT Barrett can’t get it going against Army, there’s not much hope for this OSU squad.

Rob Donaldson: Ohio State is about to unleash its fury. Ohio State 63, Army 0.

Hello Jerry: Can someone explain to me why J.T. Barrett is still the QB of this team with talented youngsters behind him? I’ll wait… Ohio State 42, Army 17.

BoilerHawk: Ohio State 56 - Army 21

Ben: Or crap was it Army that’s only completed 2 passes all year? Why are Michigan and Ohio State playing the academies on the same weekend? Gimme the Bucks.

Georgia State at #5 Penn State - 6:30pm, BTN

Max: Georgia State lost to the Ohio Valley Conference’s Tennessee State in their only game this season. Yeah, I’ve never heard of them either. Penn State 90, Georgia State 6.

Jordan: Georgia State just as well show up late, as this game will be uglier than a Tinder blind date.

JP Scott: Georgia State hangs around early, but eventually the Big Ten’s best team pulls away. Penn State 45-13.

JPinIC: Georgia State’s mascot is the Panthers. Pitt’s mascot is the Panthers. How’d that PSU thing work out for ya Pitt? PSU 45, GSU 6

Matt: 45-10, Penn State. Nittany Lions are going to be Big Ten champs.

Rob Donaldson: R.I.P. Georgia State. Penn State 45, GSU 3.

Hello Jerry: I can’t wait until these teams start to play each other. Penn State with about a billion, Georgia State 10.

BoilerHawk: Penn State 56 - Georgia State 7

Ben: McBarkley!

Bowling Green at Northwestern - 6:30pm, BTN

Max: I don’t have a lot of faith in the nerd school after their first two games, but Bowling Green is 0-2 and hasn’t showed much of anything this year. Northwestern 24, Bowling Green 13.

Jordan: The Wildcats offense looks all but dead, but at the end of this contest the Falcons will be worse off than Zed.

JP Scott: The Wildcats need this game to get right. Northwestern wins 28-10.

JPinIC: Northwestern is well on their way to being back to justNorthwestern after their start to the season. I assume that can only mean they meddle around as a very average team but figure it out enough to be a major pain in the Hawkeyes’ ass. It all starts here. NW 31, Bowling Green 13

Matt: 24-14, Northwestern. Northwestern is a bad football team. But Bowling Green lost to South Dakota last week, sooooooooooooo yeah. Why is this a night game!?

Rob Donaldson: Northwestern is not who I thought they were! *Dennis Green voice* Northwestern 31, Bowling Green 14.

Hello Jerry: What a no good, awful day that was for jNW last weekend. They’re injured and ugly and need to win badly before they start the Big Ten slate if they hope to still be B1G West sleepers (LOL JP SCOTT). jNW 17, Bowling Green 10.

BoilerHawk: jNW 17 - Bowling Green 14

Ben: It’s Caturday!