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TAKE MY MONEY: YOUR GUIDE TO BETTING WEEK 12

WE WENT 2-3 LAST WEEK AND IT’S YOUR FAULT

Alright boys and girls (?), I hope you’re happy with the with the results from an unspectacular week 11, because week 12 features far fewer exciting matchups. But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to have some nail-biting gambling experiences! Oh God no we’re going to give ourselves a heart attack here.

So here’s five four or so pure winners. I don’t care if UCF is on the menu. At this point I’m just numb and need money.

IOWA -7.5 VS. PURDUE (-300)

This is an Iowa blog and I’m legally* obligated to post Iowa gambling spreads on here, but if I were you I’d probably stay away from taking the Hawkeyes because everything about this team right now screams toxicity.

HOWEVAH, it is senior day, and it is Purdue, and it is at home and weather conditions are shaping up to be wet and rainy and miserable, so this also has Iowa covering written all over it.

But don’t take my word for it! Let resident Purdue alum BoilerHawk take it away:

This is a classic “pay for your happiness” game, especially since Purdue has arguably more to play for than Iowa (a bowl berth). Since an Iowa win means I’m happy, I’ll take the Purdue money line.

Hedging Your Happiness is a tried and true betting strategy here at The Pants. We like to say our infection spreading.

IOWA STATE -9.5 AT BAYLOR (-330)

I KNOW I KNOW laying down some financial livelihood on little brother is a dubious proposition at best, but I mean come on. This is a 1-9 Baylor team taking on what could very well be the best Iowa State team ever (?). The Clones are trying to position themselves best they can for a respectable bowl, and tripping over a hapless Baylor team would not be the way to go about that.

ALSO, while I personally don’t think Matt Campbell is leaving Iowa State after the season, it’s not unreasonable to fathom he may be trying to pad his résumé for a big payday elsewhere. I look forward to Iowa State fans hijacking the comments to wax unapologetically about how dumb I am for thinking that Knoxville/Gainesville/Literallyanywheresville is a more desirable place to live than Ames.

MICHIGAN +7.5 AT WISCONSIN

While I don’t feel great one way or another betting-wise in this matchup, it’s the only top-25 game of the weekend, so you bet your sweet ass we’re taking the points and becoming Michigan fans for the day after getting embarrassed by Wisconsin last week.

I know lots of people are probably pulling for Sconnie since their the Big Ten’s last hope of getting into the playoff, but I really don’t care. And we’re taking the points anyway! So you B1G Stans can have your cake and eat it too.

CENTRAL FLORIDA -14 AT TEMPLE

This wager is only here because HelloJerry is all over the Knights, for some reason. @him if and when this doesn’t hit.


And that’s kind of it! Sorry it’s a lame week. If you’re feeling #spicy maybe moneyline the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday night? I dunno!

So there you have it. Go do something productive now and think of a way to scrub this URL from your work computer’s history.

*We are in no way, shape, or form legally obligated to publish anything gambling-related to Iowa.