The Pants Predicts: Week 9 Big Ten Conference Football

It was a rough week for a lot of us last week in our predictions - just about all of us picked Iowa to beat Northwestern, while no one picked Rutgers to beat Purdue (who would’ve??). Hell, some of us even picked Michigan to beat Penn State, which in hindsight looks downright silly.

It was a particularly rough week for one Ben Ross, who declared, “If Iowa loses, I’m going to eat three Jack’s pizzas in a lukewarm bath.” I’m not positive that he did it, but he should live up to his end of the bargain here and give the people what they want on Facebook Live.

Here are the standings after eight weeks:

Jordan Hansen: 58-12
JPinIC: 57-13
Max Brekke: 56-14
Matt Cabel: 56-14
Rob Donaldson: 46-11
BoilerHawk: 54-16
Hello Jerry: 54-16
JP Scott: 53-17
Ben Ross: 46-24

Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images

#5 Wisconsin at Illinois - 11am on ESPN

Max: Wisconsin might not finish the season undefeated, but Illinois isn’t the team to take them down. Wisconsin 56, Illinois 10.

Jordan: Part of me wants to think Illinois can keep this close, but, nah. Wisco.

JP Scott: The Badgers can smell the West title now. Wisco 40-10

Matt: 42-10, Wisconsin. I’m just over here waiting for the Wisconsin/Penn State rematch.

BoilerHawk: Stranger things have really seemed to avoid Wisconsin this year. That’ll still be the case. Wisconsin 45 - Illinois 13

JPinIC: Illinois is so bad. Wisconsin 42, Illinois 9

Hello Jerry: Ditto what everyone else said already. Wiscy, 45-9

Ben: Poor Illinois.

Rob Donaldson: Mauling the hapless. Wisconsin 45, Illinois 10

Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images

Rutgers at Michigan - 11am on BTN

Max: Michigan is struggling as of late, while rutger is on a two game winning streak. That’ll change with this game when Jabrill Peppers puts the Wolverines on his back en route to a blowout. Michigan 38, rutger 16.

Jordan: 78-0 Michigan

JP Scott: I don’t think Rutgers wins outright, but they’ll make it uncomfortable. Michigan 27-13

Matt: 24-17, Michigan. I was very wrong about Michigan last week. But it’s Rutgers. Even the worst offense can beat Rutgers...right?

BoilerHawk: Rutgers is on a two game winning streak. Let that sink in for a moment. Michigan is a house of cards at the moment but I think Harbaugh gets them through it. Michigan 24 - Rutgers 10

JPinIC: Hey look, the rest of the world finally realized Michigan was overrated! Now they make the triumphant return, or something. Michigan 24, Rutgers 12

Hello Jerry: This game is going to be closer than the odds makers and everyone on the internets thinks. Michigan 20-17

Ben: Poor Rutgers.

Rob Donaldson: Rutgers has looked better in recent weeks but… Michigan 31, Rutgers 10

Photo by Steven Branscombe/Getty Images

#2 Penn State at #6 Ohio State - 2:30pm on FOX

Max: This should be a great game and it’s inexplicable that it’s not in primetime in favor of Minnesota and Iowa. I’m going to go with Ohio State in this one in the ‘Shoe. Buckeyes 37, Penn State 31.

Jordan: Probably Ohio State but also maybe Penn State. A hot take, I know.

JP Scott: Penn State is not Army, UNLV, Rutgers, Maryland or Nebraska. I like the Lions to roll the Buckeyes, 38-21

Matt: 28-21, Penn State - I’m done picking upsets in this competition. But really, this one could go either way.

BoilerHawk: These offenses really glow. Who will be the first team to stop the other? I think home field tilts this one. Ohio State 49 - Penn State 42

JPinIC: Like most, I think this one could go either way. It’s really hard to pick against Saquon Barkley, but it is in Columbus. I’ll take OSU 38, PSU 35. I don’t feel good about it.

Hello Jerry: Put on your scoring pants! I can’t wait for this game. Give me the Lions, 30-27.

Ben: Super pumped Iowa is at night and this game isn’t.

Rob Donaldson: How this game doesn’t get the primetime night game slot I don’t know but I’m very excited for this game. Give me the Buckeyes. Ohio State 31, Penn State 28

Photo by Duane Burleson/Getty Images

#16 Michigan State at Northwestern - 2:30pm on ESPN

Max: After watching Northwestern play last week, I don’t have a whole lot of confidence in them, let alone against a ranked team. Michigan State 31, Northwestern 17.

Jordan: Sparty wins by more points than Iowa lost by.

JP Scott: I will not watch this game because I respect myself. Gimme Sparty, 20-14

Matt: 21-17, MSU. My MSU friend John says: “Trap game for Sparty, as jNW tries to continue its winning streak. Neither team impressed me last week, but I think the Spartans are too much on defense and in the run game for the Wildcats to get it done.”

I agree, John, and your homerism has been very good to me. Northwestern is bad.

BoilerHawk: These coaches are real mind hunters. MSU 24 - Northwestern 13

JPinIC: Oh boy, I have this weird feeling NW pulls off the upset here. You may recall this is the same NW team most predicted to finish just behind Wisconsin in the West this year and MSU has a much better record than anticipated while not playing that much better than expected. But alas, I’m a coward. MSU 24, NW 22

Hello Jerry: I hate both of these teams. I hate the way Iowa played against both of these teams. I wish they both lose. MSU 24, NW 13.

Ben: Michigan State by a million. Northwestern is a lock for a letdown after its SIGNATURE win over Iowa.

Rob Donaldson: There will likely be safety and many field goals in this game. Michigan State 15, Northwestern 13

Photo by Duane Burleson/Getty Images

Indiana at Maryland - 2:30pm on BTN

Max: I honestly can’t say I know a lot about either of these teams at this point in the year, which is kinda weird. I think Indiana might win this? Indiana 24, Maryland 14.

Jordan: I’ll take my Terps here.

JP Scott: Indiana only loses to good teams. Maryland is not a good team. Hoosers 42-24

Matt: 32-21, Indiana. Next time you’re in Bloomington, go to Nick’s and thank me later.

BoilerHawk: Both of these teams have had their series of unfortunate events. Maryland 27 - Indiana 21

JPinIC: It seems things my be sprialing a bit for Maryland with their QB woes. I’ll take Indiana 31, Maryland 24

Hello Jerry: Indiana seems right here. Hoosiers 32-23.

Ben: Hoo Hoo Hoo

Rob Donaldson: Another game I’d rather not watch or have to care about. Indiana 27, Maryland 24

Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

Minnesota at Iowa - 5:30pm on FOX

Max: This Minnesota team might have an offense that’s less inspired than Iowa’s, although theirs is induced by bad quarterback play. Iowa should win this in a low scoring affair. Iowa 14, Minnesota 13.

Jordan: Once Minnesota redecorated their locker room to simulate Iowa’s, this game was over. Hawkeyes roll.

JP Scott: Fant and Stanley both have statistically their best games of the season. Hawkeyes win 24-20

Matt: 14-10, Minnesota. I don’t know anymore with this Iowa team, and it makes me sad.

BoilerHawk: Iowa is a master of none right now. Good thing Minnesota is a master of less. Iowa 12 - Minnesota 9

JPinIC: Everyone is on the hate train, right? Who hates Iowa? Minnesota. And basically every Iowa fan. Just the way KF wants it. Now he shoves it down everyone’s throat and snorts. Iowa 34, Minnesota 17

Hello Jerry: UGH! I hope Iowa keeps the pig but I just don’t trust this offense to score enough. But I can’t pick against them… not in this. Hawkeyes 24-20.

Ben: Iowa wins because it doesn’t lose to Minnesota at home at night.

Rob Donaldson: Why do I feel like this is a game where Iowa just puts a number on the Gophers out of nowhere? Iowa 38, Minnesota 17

Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images

Nebraska at Purdue - 6:30pm on BTN

Max: I’m going with the Cornhuskers here. Nebraska 24, Purdue 19.

Jordan: One time I was hungover at Ross-Ade and threw up in the bathroom. Not fun! Nebraska won’t be in nearly the same bad place I was during that game. Huskers.

JP Scott: I think Purdue learned more from a Rutgers loss than they would have from a win. I like the Boilermakers 30-24.

Matt: 34-24, Purdue. Being a Purdue fan is just as bad as being an Iowa fan: my column

BoilerHawk: It was nice when Purdue was a quality distraction from Iowa. Now it’s just like looking into a black mirror. They’ll pull this one out, though. Purdue 19 - Nebraska 7

JPinIC: This was such a lock a week ago, then Purdue went and lost to Rutgers. WTF, man? I’m still taking the Boilers. Why? Because f*ck Nebraska, that’s why. Purdue 45, Nebraska 31

Hello Jerry: Purdue lost The Pants money last week. They’re on my shit list. Nebby wins, 27-24.

Ben: LOL you’ll all be crawling back when Purdue wipes the floor with Nebby.

Rob Donaldson: A night game between Purdue and Nebraska … in 2017… What a time to be alive. Purdue 31, Nebraska 24