BIG TEN FOOTBALL POWER RANKINGS: WEEK 9

So how ‘bout that Big Ten football conference, huh? The best conference in the land, they said. Playmakers as far as the eye can see, they said. It’s going to be a dogfight between Wisconsin, Northwestern, Iowa and maybe even Minnesota in the West, they said. And the East! Don’t even get us started on Sparty, tOSU, MSU and Michigan.

WELP. No one knows anything and here we are drinking overpriced coffee nursing a two day hangover courtesy of Iowa football and a beautiful day for outdoor drinking in Evanston.

So. Here’s the the best of the best in the B1G. You can honestly probably stop reading after No. 4.

1. Penn State (7-0, 4-0)

Some idiot on this very site predicted an easy Michigan victory over the Nits in Happy Valley. Welp. I know nothing. Trace McSorley and Saquon Barkley had very respectable days, but I think it’s about time we consider this PSU defense ELITE. Penn State has given up the least points in the B1G and it’s not even close. (PSU as 68 PA while Wisconsin is second with 93.) The Nits had SEVEN sacks against the Wolverines and allowed Michigan to go 6-16 on third downs. Penn State at Ohio State next week. 2:30 PM CT on FOX. Warn the babysitter and get your turkey baster ready.

2. Ohio State (6-1, 4-0)

When I started writing about Ohio State here I originally still had Penn State as the No. 2 team in the conference. JT Barrett went 27/33 for 325 yards and 5 touchdowns against Nebraska on Saturday. That’s fine I guess. He also had 10 carries for 48 yards and 2 scores. Also just fine I guess. The score was 35-0 at half. Everything is just ok.

3. Wisconsin (7-0, 4-0)

The Badge ravaged a team that’s on its third string quarterback. What else is there to say? Troy Fumagalli, a tight end without an index finger on his left hand, caught 7 passes for 83 yards. Wisconsin plays Indiana next week. Book your tickets to Indy now, Badger fans.

4. Michigan State (6-1, 4-0)

Sparty could be good! The Indiana game was kinda sorta close... but nothing on that box score really jumps out to me. Other than the fact LJ friggin’ Scott played despite having SEVEN driving citations on his criminal record. Good life lessons are being taught over in East Lansing!

5. Michigan (5-2, 2-2)

Jim Harbaugh to the Cleveland Browns?

6. Purdue (3-4, 1-3)

I am literally just learning now that Rutgers beat Purdue. I don’t care. The rest of this post is going to be about as mailed-in as my gas and electricity payment, which I still send in the mail as an eff you to ComEd for making me pay $2.50 convenience fee for paying my bill over the internet.

7. Northwestern (4-3, 2-2)

Good job, good effort Northwestern. At this point, a nine-win season for jNW isn’t out of the question. 2017 sucks.

8. Iowa (4-3, 1-3)

If you want to read anything about Iowa football today, allow me to direct you to our own JPinIC’s Overreaction Monday column, and guest blogger StoopsMyAss’ cerebral post on the state of Iowa football.

9-12:

In no particular order we have Indiana, Minnesota, Nebraska and Maryland. If this wasn’t an Iowa blog we’d probably have Iowa in there too but it is and I have a keyboard and a login and you don’t.

13 & 14.

Illinois and Rutgers. Pick your poison. I don’t care that Rutgers beat Purdue and is 2-2 in conference. Don’t @ me.

Thanks for reading, everyone, and I’m sorry Iowa football isn’t better. I wish Iowa’s suckiness was my fault so we’d have someone definitive to point fingers to and throw rocks at; and I revel in self-deprecation, but here we are.

I hope the rest of your Monday is just fine.