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TAKE MY MONEY: YOUR GUIDE TO BETTING WEEK SEVEN OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL

IOWA ISN’T PLAYING BUT AT LEAST WE GOT PURDUE

The bye week is always fun because we don’t have to bet Iowa, which usually results in hedging happiness and hurling expletives at the television.

Well the bye week isn’t much different than any other week I guess, it’s just that we don’t have to put up with Iowa football in the process of our degeneracy.

This weekend isn’t great either since there’s no matchup between two ranked teams. No matter! There’s still value to be found, and boy howdy did I find it for you, dear, degenerate reader.

So, please read about how you’re going to pay for beer and Angry Whoppers for the weekend.

Duke +7 (+250) vs. Florida State (-300)

The game: This is a classic ACC matchup between two teams that are probably better than their records indicate.

Plenty of Noles fans are #MadOnline about the way their season is going, and rightfully so. Duke, meanwhile, is on a two game losing streak after starting the year 4-0. Do I think Duke can beat FSU? Yes. And I also think the chances of covering seven points at home are even higher. Take My Money loves home dogs, and we love Jimbo losing control of what was to be a magical season.

Sources tell me Jimbo spread the ashes of Bobby Bowden’s dog along Pismo Beach to appease the Drowned God in order turn the season around. I’m afraid it’s too little, too late.

LSU +7.5 (+225) vs. Auburn (-270)

The game: I know Auburn is a team that has its sights still set on SEC title and playoff hopes, while the Ed Orgeron experiment is already wearing thin on boosters in Baton Rouge. A win in Gainsville last week bought coach O some time, and a win against Auburn could even get him an extension.

More importantly, this game features some hot TIGER ON TIGER action, and it doesn’t really matter who wins*. You know why? Because we the fans are the real winners here.

*It doesn’t matter who wins as long as LSU covers.

Michigan State -2.5 (-175) at Minnesota (+155)

The game: I know I just said I love home dogs, but I love betting against Minnesota even more. We did it last week against Purdue, and we’re going to continue betting against team #TowTheBoat until we’re proven otherwise. Which will be never.

This has all the makings for a huge letdown game for Michigan State after topping Michigan, but I trust Mark Dantonio enough to get his team ready for an environment that is anything but hostile. Minnesota quarterback Conor Rhoda is a poor mans Mitch Leidner, and you can bet TCF Bank stadium will be half-empty because Minnesota fans don’t know how to properly prepare for a night game. Heck, even the Minnesota media is down on the Gilded Rodents.

The only things going for the Gophers is Dairy Queen and a low cost of living. Neither of those things will help you win football games.

Washington State -15.5 (-800) at Cal (+400)

The game: There’s two teams we really like here week in and week out at Benny’s Bets. Washington State, and Purdue. We give the Boilers all the love, but Wazzu is actually UNDEFEATED at the spread this year. That’s right, Mike Leach has earned the nickname the pirate because a bunch of degenerate bloggers are making money off his pillaging of other teams.

Luke Falk is the first mate of this money ship, and I see no reason why he can’t plunder this Cal team for all its worth on Friday night.

Purdue +17 (+490) at Wisconsin (-1040)

The game: There’s good value here! The Boliermakers could definitely maybe keep it close against the Badgers, but also I mean Wisconsin is really friggin’ good.

BUT we care not about the wins and losses, but simply covering the spread and winning money. Which is why we’ve brought in resident Purdue fan BoilerHawk to talk us through this matchup:

It sounds right. I think they’ll stick with Wisconsin through roughly half. Wisconsin squeezes the life out of Purdue the rest of the way to cover, sadly.

What?!?!

Step aside, Boiler. Purdue doesn’t need you and you don’t deserve to win money off your alma mater.

You have to have FAITH in this Purdue team. There aren’t a lot of things we can trust right now, but I believe in Purdue and that’s really all there is to it.

ALSO, I already laid my wager before consulting BoilerHawk, and I’m not such a coward where I take the Badgers and lay the vig.

All we can do now is pray.

xxXBONUSXxx BENNY’S B1G TEASER (r)

This week on Benny’s B1G Teaser we have the following:

Michigan +2 vs. Indiana

Purdue +26.5 vs. Wisconsin

Michigan State +6 vs. Minnesota

You are welcome. Don’t forget to @ben-ross-16 me on Venmo when you’re sipping on your congratulatory Hamm’s Saturday evening.