Do you have questions? Comments? Concerns? Theories? General stories of debauchery? Send them to me! I will feature as many as my editors will allow every single Thursday until the end of time. You can send them via Twitter (@JerryScherwin) using the hashtag #HelloJerry (Eat It Blevins), add them in the comments of this column, shoot them over via email (email@example.com), or on Facebook.
Happy bye week, everyone. I hope you enjoy your apple picking (JPinIC) or haunted hayrides with your friends, family and significant others.
Q: What’s the O/U on wins for Iowa basketball this year?
Hello Jerry: This is an interesting question coming off a year in which the Hawkeyes found themselves in control of their own destiny/on the bubble going into the Big Ten Tournament, got themselves to the NIT and finished with a 19-15 overall record.
At first, second and third glance, this schedule is VERY manageable. The non-con has two games you’re worried about, with a road game against Iowa State and a neutral site game against Colorado in South Dakota (Colorado was very similar to Iowa last year). And the Virginia Tech game in Blacksburg could end up being weird.
But that’s really about it.
In terms of the Big Ten conference schedule, Iowa lucked out. They don’t have to go to the Breslin Center, Kohl Center or Mackey Arena this year (they are pretty dreadful on the road against Michigan State, Wisconsin and Purdue). Their mirror games are against a rebuilding Indiana, a questionable Michigan team, Minnesota (split), rebuilding Ohio State and Penn State (split with Iowa losing like they always do in the graveyard that is the Bryce Jordan Center).
If Iowa wants to take a step into the Top-4 of the Big Ten, this is the season to do that if only because the schedule SHOULD allow it.
Now, if I partook in such a thing as setting O/U’s, I think I’d set Iowa’s win total at 24.5 for the season. That just feels right, no? Run through their schedule realistically. Doesn’t 24 or 25 wins look feasible? I’ve tried to be super, super conservative (which, granted, is really hard for an optimist) and I still wind up tallying 22-ish wins.
For once, I don’t think I’m crazy either.
TELL ME I’M NOT CRAZY!
Q: How many TD passes will Nate Stanley throw this year? Will he break Chuck Long’s record of 27? Wow about Chuck Long’s career record of 75?
Hello Jerry: Ahhhh, one of my favorite topics: Nate Stanley’s long term place in Iowa Hawkeye lore.
Let’s look at the defenses remaining for Stanley before answering these:
- Northwestern: Giving up 383.6 total yards per game (248.6 through the air) and six passing touchdowns in five games.
- Minnesota: Giving up 314.4 total yards per game (200.2 through the air) and six passing touchdowns in five games.
- Ohio State: Giving up 290.7 total yards per game (170.2 through the air) and six passing touchdowns in six games.
- Wisconsin: Giving up 273.8 total yards per game (192.4 through the air) and five passing touchdowns in five games.
- Purdue: Giving up 374.8 total yards per game (223.8 through the air) and six passing touchdowns in five games.
- Nebraska: Giving up 355.8 total yards per game (208.8 through the air) and seven passing touchdowns in six games.
I think those are fair sample sizes at this point in the season. Minnesota, Ohio State and Wisconsin are going to be tough sledding for Stanley, Brian Ferentz, Akrum Wadley and everyone else associated with this Iowa offense. These three Big Ten opponents project to be better than or equivalent to both Penn State and Michigan State defensively.
That’s record breaking trouble.
I think a fair O/U for touchdown passes against those three teams would be 4.5. If we had the opportunity to bet on that number, I’d tell you all to stay away.
Now, that leaves Northwestern, Purdue, Nebraska and a bowl game for Stanley to throw seven more touchdowns (assuming he gets to five against the defenses named above) combined to tie Chuck Long.
That’s not crazy, right? Iowa is going to have to pass the ball if they hope to get this running attack back on track. If (and I know this is a big if for some of you) Stanley can connect on a few of those deep balls during the second half of the season, I think he can do it. If he has one big game in a shootout a la Iowa State (looking at you Purdue), I think he will do it.
Mark me down for at least a tie.
Look, I like the kid and I’m very intrigued as to how good he can be the next two years with playmakers that are his age and younger. I also want to make a better bowl game than the Sizzler All You Can Eat Salad Bowl this season to send off guys like Wadley and Josey Jewell. To be able to do that, Stanley is going to HAVE to keep finding the endzone.
As far as the all-time record, I’ll say that if Stanley ties or breaks Long’s record this year, he’s going to break his career record too.
Q: If you could go back in time, which Hawkeye athletic event would you most like to attend????
— chuck longs mom
Hello Jerry: Initially, I was going to say that I wanted to go back in time to the very moment when Gary Barta met up with Todd Lickliter to prevent the Iowa AD from making his first and worst hire to date.
But then I realized that if I did that, Bruce Pearl would’ve probably been hired and that would’ve probably been an even bigger disaster that probably would’ve ended in some sort of self sanctions (plus NCAA sanctions).
That also eliminates Fran McCaffery from the equation.
So screw Back to the Future-ing Iowa Basketball.
Instead, I’ll just go back in peace to watch the 1987 hoops squad. Outside of seeing Nile Kinnick himself, I’m not sure there’s a better answer for someone that was born in 1988.
Q: My questions:
Is it time to fire (Brian) Ferentz? Is Taylor a problem at DB?
Hello Jerry: You guys are the best. NO it’s not time to fire Brian Ferentz.
And yes, Taylor is a problem. Unless Brandon Snyder or Amari Hooker gets injured, I’d expect to see very little of Miles Taylor the rest of the season.
Q: Best movie theater snack food?
Hello Jerry: You never cease to amaze me, Energizer. You’re officially the question master of the Hello Jerry Mailbag. Congratulations.
This might shock some, but if I can’t choose popcorn (seems like a copout), I’m going to pick DOTS in a close race over Sour Patch Kids and Peanut M&M’s.
Note: Unfortunately, I don’t have significant This Is Us commentary this week. I felt like the writers/creators heard that Sylvester Stallone wanted to be on the show so they came up with some cockamamie storyline that makes Kevin KIND OF tackle the emotions left over from his father’s death, but not really. Of course, Randall was as good as always, Jack did Jack things to make Rebecca feel good about herself (because she’s not a good person) and Beth was a rock. But I just couldn’t rank them this week because I was so thrown off. AND NO TOBY? Come on people! So instead...
What other shows does your wife make you watch that you initially hate but end up liking?”
Hello Jerry: Thank you for asking this question Matt. As you mentioned in our Slack thread, the “Show’s you initially watch begrudgingly to make your SO (significant other) happy before falling in love with them yourself” phenomenon is 1000% real.
What I love so much about my relationship with my wife is that I have opened her eyes to the golden age of television (The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, Stranger Things, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, Friday Night Lights, Fargo) and comedy (The Office, Scrubs, Seinfeld, SNL, Broad City) while she welcomed me into the world of...
Before her and I started dating, I had no CLUE what Bravo was (or E!, or Food Network, or Lifetime for that matter). I had no idea who the hell Andy Cohen was. My honest to goodness idea of “reality TV” was some Mark Burnett production that aired on CBS that my parents watched before they fell asleep on the couch.
I specifically recall asking her why we were watching “rich” people living their lives amongst one another? Why do I, or anyone, care about any of these people? They’re not talented. They didn’t do anything more than you or I could do to get “famous.” Why are we watching them fight and whine and complain about how hard it is to drop the kids off at school, pick up Starbucks coffee and go to the gym? Do we really care that Ramona drinks wine with breakfast?
I tried to boycott it for a while. I rolled my eyes. I laughed. I made arguments as to why it was all consumable trash. But, even as I did all of that, I still had one eye open; soaking it all in because there was a sleazy part of me that loved being able to turn off my brain and watch these lunatics talk shit about each other for an hour at a time.
Plus, it made her happy. How could I take away from that.
So, eventually I gave in. And my life has been wonderful ever since. I highly recommend it to all of you out there. Hell, I’m watching one of the shows I’ll mention below as I write this very sentence.
Now, I couldn’t pick just one show, so I decided to give you a Top-5 of the “Show’s you initially watch begrudgingly to make your SO happy before falling in love with them yourself”:
- The Real Housewives of New Jersey (I hate how much I love Teresa Giudice. Miss you Caroline Manzo.)
- Vanderpump Rules (Jax and Stassi forever)
- Teen Mom 1 & 2 (Farrah and Jenelle are both a 15-car pile up you can’t look away from, while Maci and Chelsea are damn good moms and I don’t know how they do it.)
- Fixer Upper (I want shiplap throughout my entire house)
- 90 Day Fiancé (If you haven’t watched this yet let me give you the quick pitch: Some smart and some dumb men and women “fall in love” and FALL IN LOVE with someone from outside of the United States. Eventually, their “fiancé’s” and FIANCÉ’S come to the USA on a visa that allows them to stay if they get married within 90-days. Can their relationship last in a new country? Are those men and women coming over really in it for love? Or are they here for the wrong reasons?)
Also Receiving Votes: Cake Wars, Chopped, Shahs of Sunset, Don’t Be Tardy, Real Housewives of New York, Chrisley Knows Best, Below Deck, and Married at First Sight
Once again, thank you all for your questions. I’ll be back here next week, same time, same place. If you want to get a jump start on sending me your questions, feel free to tweet me @JerryScherwin or use the hashtag #HelloJerry.