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Oh look, Iowa is a double-digit favorite again.

Well, thank the spirits that we couldn’t *legally* wager on the Iowa game last week, because that would have been bad. For all of us.

Luckily, I put all our ducks in a row to get us ready for another weekend of poor financial decisions and cold Taco Bell. We got ourselves Big Ten match-ups and some #Pac12AfterDark so it’s going to be tough to find time for a shower, but I recommend bathing at least twice this weekend.

With that being said, let’s dissect this Iowa game.

The Game

Iowa -13.5: That’s … a lot of points to be offering after losing a game where you were you 15-point favorites. So yeah. It’s likely NDSU is better than Rutgers, but that’s a sad argument I really don’t feel like getting into right now, so let’s just call a spade a spade and say that this game is a trap and there’s no reason to believe Iowa will beat Rutgers by two touchdowns after the NDSU showing.

Now Iowa -7 first half? That is a more attractive proposition. The Hawkeyes have looked more crisp in the first 30 minutes so far this year, and I can see them up big at half only to make it a close game in the fourth quarter.

The over/under is also 56. I like the under a lot, even though betting the under is for cowards and I hate it, but I just don’t see this game to be a high-scoring affair, so that might be something to dabble with there.

Now that Iowa the Iowa wagers are out of the way, we can get into some of the nitty gritty here.

Michigan State -5 vs. Wisconsin

I love betting on the Spartans, and there’s no reason to not love this one. Michigan State at home coming off a huge win at Notre Dame, against a Wisconsin (ARE THEY FRAUDS!?) team that just barely squeaked by Georgia State. Sign me up!

Utah -3 vs. USC

I promised you guys some #Pac12AfterDark and who am I not to deliver on my pledges? The Utes are a tough team at home, and a loss on Friday night is just what USC needs to knock out any recollection of being ranked in the preseason.

Washington -12.5 at Arizona

Remember when I said we’re going to bet Washington until the Huskies stop covering spreads? I meant it.

Arkansas +6 at Texas A&M

Much like Washington, Arkansas loves covering spreads. I love this even more since the Hogs are underdogs, because you just know Bret Bielema saw that spread and ate an entire Baker’s Square banana cream pie while breaking down A&M film. Gimme the Hogs +6 and parlay that with Bielema declaring himself the mayor of College Station after the win.

Stanford -3, over 46 at UCLA

You’ll notice this is a lot of Pac-12 games on the slate this week, and I’ll be quick to point out that’s all just purely coincidental and you’re already reading too much into it. UCLA might be good, but I just think Stanford is much better. If you don’t feel like taking the spread here, just go with the over because 46 points is an absolute lock.

And that’s it. Please don’t @ me when none of these plays hit.