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MARCHIFORNICATION 2016: BREAKING DOWN THE FOURTH WALL

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The staff is in the tournament. But how will it end?

Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports

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Well, we're in it now.
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There's no turning back.
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It's just us and all that negativity in the bracket, and only one side can win.
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....
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...
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Is this going to be another one where we just pair up two groups and vote so that the tournament can end?
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Aw man. That's so played.
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Maybe we can channel the positivity through something else, a manifestation of our intent.
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Yes. But it has to be something big.
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Something good.
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Something universally recognized for its honor and valor.
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/turns toward Kinnick Stadium

Kinnick Statue

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Of course!
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We'll animate the Nile Kinnick statue and use it to stop Birk Berentz!
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...
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Isn't that the plot of Ghostbusters 2?
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Shit, we already did that finish, too.
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Damn it. Maybe there aren't any endings left.
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Maybe we did them all.
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Maybe I'm not wearing pa---

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Hot Cops

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BHGP STAFF, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST
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Hey look, it's Sexycop!
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I'm not Sexycop. I'm a full-fledged police officer, and the three of you are in big trouble.
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Take them to jail.