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MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 1: RICKY STANZI vs. J LEMAN

New, 45 comments

Love it or leave it. USA number one.

Stanzi Icon
Well, old friend, I suppose this was inevitable.

J Leman icon
Yes, I suppose so.

Stanzi Icon
We fought many battles together.

J Leman icon
Did it all for freedom.

Stanzi Icon
Liberty.

Stanzi Icon
J Leman icon
AMERICA.

Stanzi Icon
J Leman icon
LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT.

Stanzi Icon
J Leman icon
USA NUMBER ONE.

Stanzi Icon
Oh man, remember the time we stopped JoePa and Hockeybear at the same time?

J Leman icon
All so that we could save Girls' Generation from a North Korean prison?

Stanzi Icon
Or how about the time we met on American Gladiators?

J Leman icon
That only happened in your head, Ricky.

Stanzi Icon
Oh, right. I always forget.

Stanzi Icon
J, you're a great American, and you deserve to win this Marchifornication.  I'll step aside and let you move on.

J Leman icon
Ricky, I can't let you do that.  For one, forfeiting is un-American.  For another, this is your site.  I'm just a guy from Illinois.  You're a Hawkeye.  You should move on.

Stanzi Icon
J, I insist.

J Leman icon
No, Ricky.  Please, after you.

- As the two continue to argue and defer to each other, they don't hear an
increasingly-loud whistling sound from above -

Stanzi Icon
Please, J.  The authors of BHGP turned you into a zombie and had you gunning down Lou Holtz before I was even on their radar.  You deserve this success.

J Leman icon
Sure, but they eventually let me go.  BHGP is still talking about you as a great patriot.  And you are.  And you should move on.

Bomb icon
WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRR

Stanzi Icon
I won't take 'no' for an answer, J.

J Leman icon
You're going to have to, Ricky.

Bomb icon
WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Stanzi Icon
Come on, J.  Just -- wait, what is that?

J Leman icon
Oh God.  It can't be --

Bomb icon
BOOM

PAKIBOMB 2

Ricky Stanzi and J Leman have been eliminated by Pakibombing.