FAKE LIE STORIES THAT ARE NOT REAL

MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 1: RICKY STANZI vs. J LEMAN

Love it or leave it. USA number one.

By Patrick Vint Jul 21, 2016, 10:00am CDT

Well, old friend, I suppose this was inevitable.

Yes, I suppose so.

We fought many battles together.

Did it all for freedom.

Liberty.

AMERICA.

LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT.

USA NUMBER ONE.

Oh man, remember the time we stopped JoePa and Hockeybear at the same time?

All so that we could save Girls' Generation from a North Korean prison?

Or how about the time we met on American Gladiators?

That only happened in your head, Ricky.

Oh, right. I always forget.

J, you're a great American, and you deserve to win this Marchifornication. I'll step aside and let you move on.

Ricky, I can't let you do that. For one, forfeiting is un-American. For another, this is your site. I'm just a guy from Illinois. You're a Hawkeye. You should move on.

J, I insist.

No, Ricky. Please, after you.

- As the two continue to argue and defer to each other, they don't hear an

increasingly-loud whistling sound from above -

Please, J. The authors of BHGP turned you into a zombie and had you gunning down Lou Holtz before I was even on their radar. You deserve this success.

Sure, but they eventually let me go. BHGP is still talking about you as a great patriot. And you are. And you should move on.