WHAT HE DID TO GET HERE: Waged all-out war on the ACLs, academic records and Iowa Courts Online results of Iowa halfbacks for more than a decade. At one point, Iowa went seven years without graduating a scholarship halfback, unquestionably the most stupifying factoid of the entire BHGP tenure.
PAST MARCHIFORNICATIONS: A perennial top seed, AIRBHG actually never had a great run in March. Lost as a #1 seed in 2013 to Japanese Subway Guy, who actually ended up being the living embodiment of AIRBHG anyway. Won by forfeit in 2012, but his opponent, Coach Vending Machine, had the new KOK playbook uploaded and became far more important to the tournament than AIRBHG ever was. Lost to Paki O'Meara in a Captain America Herky costume in 2011, as ironic a Marchifornication result as there ever was.
WHAT HE DID TO GET HERE: Hockeybear hasn't been around for a while, but back in 2010, he was far more effective at blowing up the Big Ten than Iowa football. Everything else -- the world, Saturn, the entire universe -- was just collateral damage.
PAST MARCHIFORNICATIONS: Hockeybear was a top seed in 2010, but got blown the hell out by Tyler Jimmer-Jammin' Sash in the second round. Turns out he probably should have blown up Iowa City, too.