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FRAN McCAFFERY
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WHAT HE DID TO GET HERE: Resurrected Iowa basketball through cunning recruiting, sharp-dressed assistant coaches and screaming at the top of his lungs for five consecutive months each winter.
PAST MARCHIFORNICATIONS: Damn near won 2012 with the help of Matt Gatens, Andrew Brommer and a heel-turning Gary Barta, but lost in the final.
TIM LICKLITER
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WHAT HE DID TO GET HERE: Passed off as a typo, but he's actually the guy that Iowa accidentally hired to replace [NAME REDACTED] instead of the reigning NCAA Coach of the Year. He proceeded to take the controls while trending slightly downward and fly the plane into the goddamn mountain.
PAST MARCHIFORNICATIONS: Technically, his ineptitude is the reason Marchifornication exists.