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It’s THE GAME and Bugeater Week and I don’t know what to do with myself

Ohio State v Michigan State Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Images

Apologies for the late timing on this. O’Hare ate my original copy of this Monday morning. I know you were all DYING for my validation of where each team in the B1G should be ranked.

Let’s not waste any time, you’re all busy this week.

1. Ohio State (10-1, 7-1): Even though Ohio State survived an upset from lowly Michigan State, I’m still placing the top of the pack. This is pointless, however, since we have our first meaningful installment of THE GAME on Saturday, and I couldn’t be more excited. HOT TAEK ALERT: Wisconsin wins the B1G Championship game and causes utter CHAOS. You heard it here first.

Maryland v Michigan Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

2. Michigan (10-1, 7-1): Michigan kinda sorta squeaked by Indiana and I think this spells bad news for Michigan. We all know the Wolverines don’t play so good outside of Ann Arbor (I know it’s been mentioned elsewhere, but why isn’t anyone talking about how Michigan is only going to play FOUR away games this year? That should honestly be illegal) and I don’t trust John O’Korn under center. Honestly I should put Wisconsin here. Whatever I’m too lazy to copy & paste that.

3. Wisconsin (9-2, 6-2): If it weren’t for some poor quarterback play, Wisconsin would be sitting at one (or zero) loss(es) and getting the love it deserves. That’s not how the world works, however, and it’s going to take the Badgers beating Minnesota this weekend (they will) and then a win over probably Penn State in Indy for a fabled two-loss team to make it to the CFP. Love it.

4. Penn State (9-2, 7-1): Yeah so when Ohio State beats Michigan on Saturday, that’s going to give Penn State a bid to its first-ever B1G Championship game. UNLESS Michigan State causes an upset, which I honestly wouldn’t be too surprised to see. In fact, I’m hoping for it.

Purdue v Nebraska Photo by Steven Branscombe/Getty Images

5. Nebraska (9-2, 6-2): I read something today that Nebraska’s best win of the season was against MINNESOTA. Remember when Nebraska Twitter was dogging on Iowa all of last season? I’d say Iowa as a state should collectively light a bag of dog poo on their front doorstep, but they aren’t worth our time.

6. Iowa (7-4, 5-3): I think I’m not alone in thinking that Iowa needs a win on Friday (and probably a bowl win) to get any sort of validation out of this season. It sounds like Nebraska might be trudging out its third-string QB for this one, and that gives me just enough confidence in our contest against the Bugeaters. No matter what happens, I want this to be a blowout.

7. Minnesota (8-3, 5-3): We could probably just leave Minnesota at the seven or eight spot in B1G power rankings for the next half-dozen seasons or so. The passive-aggressive mediocrity of Minnesotans makes perfect sense.

Maryland v Michigan Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

8. Indiana (5-6, 3-5): #GetChaosTeamToABowl

9. Northwestern (5-6, 4-4): Remember when this Northwestern team beat Iowa? Me neither.

10. Maryland (5-6, 2-6): Serious question: was Maryland-Rutgers a rivalry before they both moved to the B1G, or is this one being forced on us too?

Ohio State v Michigan State Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Images

11. Michigan State (3-8, 1-7): So do you think Mike Dantonio misses Pat Narduzzi yet orrrrrrr.

12. Purdue (3-8, 1-7): *Looks in both directions* *Whispers* I’m actually kind of looking forward to watching Indiana-Purdue.

13. Illinois (3-8, 2-6): Illinois never kicked off against the Hawkeyes and still couldn’t score. Sad!

Penn State v Rutgers Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images

14. Rutgers (2-9, 0-8): How many signatures do you think we need to kick Rutgers out of the Big Ten?