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ILLINOIS STATE: WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOSE?

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Every week, Iowa's opponent just so happens to wear the worst uniforms we've ever seen.

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Illinois State, we got one question for you.

Illinois State What Are Those

Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

WHAT. ARE. THOSE.

Illinois State Helmet Stickers

Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Ohio State has the buckeye leaves. Florida State has the tomahawks. Georgia has dog bones. Illinois State has "Reggie Redbird." That's what we're told by Wikipedia, anyway, because as near as we can tell (i.e. like six well-informed google and site searches) there's no explanation for Illinois States' helmet sticker system. Maybe you yourself have been awarded a few of these without even knowing it! Would you turn them down? Of course you would.

Illinois State Red Uniforms

Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

And the unis. BRUH. Red on red? There's a more specific word for an outfit like that, and it's called "pajamas." Congratulations, you're these people.

White Unis Redbirds

Courtney Collins-Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier

With Illinois State on the road on Saturday, fans will see these white uniforms. Oh, great call. On the list of "college programs known for all-white unis," Illinois State is somewhere between "I don't know" and "I give up." So then all you're left with is the lone branding icon—REGGIE REDBIRD.

Here's the thing about naming your mascot "Reggie." It's one thing to go with "Herky." That's a pretty unique name. You probably don't know a "Herky" in real life. That's not a real name. "Reggie," though, is a real name. And I'm sorry, but if you're giving your mascot a real people name, this is the only Reggie I want on the face of it.

Reginald Redbird

Now we're getting somewhere.

So to recap, y'all wear pajammy-jams, your prominently featured mascot is named "Reggie" and Carl Winslow has nothing to do with your helmets. Worst uniforms ever.