Opponent: North Texas Mean Green (0-2, 0-1 C-USA)
Saturday, September 26, 2:30 p.m., Kinnick Stadium
Television: Big Ten Network
Kickoff weather: 76 degrees, clear, with temperatures remaining steady.
Bored High School Student: This is sladed to be the top game of College Football 2015. It all comes down to this or it doesn't. Who can ever really know until it's kick off time.
WHEN NORTH TEXAS HAS THE BALL
The Iowa Hawkeyes definately got there biggest break of College Football 2015 when Tony Romo suffered a collerbone concussion against Philadelphia last week. My brother says Romo is the biggest choker of all time and it looks like his body agrees with him, lol, but you can't lol about injuries if my dad is around because he says it's classless and it's like come on, it's sports, if I was supposed to have class on weekends the school would'nt be locked. My brother says this one kid Jeremy went into the school on a weekend once and all the classrooms were locked, a custodian saw him and so he ran but dude the custodians aren't gonna chase you, heck theyd probably let you into the rooms themselves, you should try that.
I just looked at the North Texas rostor and they don't even list Romo even though Dallas is the only NFL team in North Texas lmao also why doesn't it say Cowboys, it says Mean Grean? there's some guy named Andrew McNulty. It's funny because that is literally the name of a guy on the Wire, a HBO show about drugs that I'm not allowed to watch because it's about drugs. I think McNulty is the name of the guy who carries around the gun and he's always like, "Omar's coming!" Omar is the biggest factor in the Wire shows, probably;... you can't count him out!!!
ESPN says Andrew McNulty is from Iowa City so this game will be a real "home town reunion", no pun intended! Iowa Hawkeyes has to bring the whole defense at him or else it will be lights out, literally. You know these guys want to beat Iowa and "win one for Dez" possibly. All of Northern Texas will be watching this game. It is like Rocky 4 if Texas was USSR and all the people watching on TV are the Russians, or wait, the match was in USSR, so maybe Iowa is Ivan Dragon, wait, no Iowa isn't supposed to lose. OK it is when Ivan Dragon punches the America guy so hard he dies in real life maybe. RIP Carl Weather!
WHEN IOWA HAS THE BALL
Vince Lombarddy always says you can't write about an offense without reading about the defense so here's some crucile info!
Iowa will have to pull out all the stops on offense. Football is probably where that saying come from, if you take your offense and pull out all the times you get stopped all you have left is touchdowns and field goals, and guess what... you score points and you win!! It seams like Kirk Frentz didn't know that for a few years and now he does again. CJ Batherd is the next "big guy in town" at QB, and fans can't stop calling him "CJQB!" in a nickname. That is how exciting times are in Iowa City. I bet once the North Texas quarterback saw that everyone in his home town liked a different quarterback, he told his team "this means WAR!" and punched the sh***t out of his locker, and everyone definitley got real fired up. If that happens on Saturday.... look out! Sparks will literally fly. It is hard to compare and contrast the factors when the football war is on!
The North-Texas defense (or as they spell it in north of Texas, defence) is giving up over 500 yards per game, which equals a "country mile," it is not a mile in the city becuase of traffic but once you get on the open road, 500 yards is nothin'g! Look out for CJ Betther on Saturday, throwing the ball and running it and maybe punting it... yeah right!!?!
I don't know who plays defense for North-Texas and some say nobody does. Maybe they are facedless assassins like the Foot Clan in Teenage Mutent Ninja Turtles.? Only time will tell
Marshall Khane kicked the best field goal of College Football 2015 and maybe College Football History 2015 with a 57-yard field goal to beat the Pittsburgh Steelers last Saturday, right at the stroke of Midnight. Nobody could beleave their eyes! When Iowa brought the field goal team out, Pittsburg coach Tom Narduzzy probably told everyone "oh here comes trouble!" Marshall Kony is now the top nimisis of Pitt maybe. Iowa should kick lots of field goals and if Dan McCarney doesn't like it, Kirk Farents looks across the field and he says, "hey pal, tuff stuff!" That could maybe start a fight but everyone in the stadium would like it. There are so many factors in do you punch a guy's lights out or just hang 40 points on him by halftime. When I play Madden with my brother I always go for 2 but if "Captain" Kirk does that, he will make his kicker mad and that could maybe start a muttiny on the bounty. You can't do that.