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PITT'S ONE ACT PLAY OF DESPAIR

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Picture this.

Sergio Flores (The Daily Iowan)

ACT I.

SCENE I. Kinnick Stadium.  The Pitt sideline.  The Panthers have just scored a touchdown on a Nathan Peterman touchdown pass to Tyler Boyd.  Peterson, Boyd, J.P. Holtz, and Qadree Ollison stand on the sidelines.

BOYD: The hour draws late, friends.  The moon rises higher o'er the clouds of the night sky.

PETERMAN: Yes, it is late.  That's what happens when you start a game at 7 PM.

Pitt kicks off, the ball fielded at the Iowa 3-yard line by Desmond King after a bobble.

OLLISON: Yo, why'd he touch that?

OLLISON: Wait, why's he still running?  Tackle him tackle him tackle him someone tackle him

King is finally tackled, at the Iowa 30-yard line.

OLLISON: Finally.

HOLTZ: Hey, Nate, I've got an idea for overtime.  If I split out wide and then --

BOYD: O'ertime?  The game beyond the game?  Fair J.P., the sands of time in the clock have not yet run out.

OLLISON: Uh, I think the clock is digital, man.

HOLTZ: Yeah, but it's Iowa.  It's like Coach Dooz said, we know what they're gonna do -- take a knee and play for overtime.

PETERMAN: Or, at best, run it up the gut a few times and see if anything happens.

HOLTZ: Exactly.

C.J. Beathard takes the snap and runs for 12 yards on first down.

OLLISON: Damn.  That boy can scoot.

HOLTZ: Huh.

Beathard completes a 4-yard pass to Henry Krieger-Coble.

PETERMAN: Wait, did they just throw the ball?

BOYD: There is a scent of madness in the air. Naught is sensible at this moment.

OLLISON: For real.

Beathard takes the snap and runs for 7 yards, to the PITT 47-yard line.

OLLISON: They're on our side of the field, man.  What the hell.

BOYD: This drive, it harrows me with fear and wonder.

Beathard takes the snap again and throws a pass to Tevaun Smith, incomplete.

PETERMAN: Whew.

Pitt calls timeout with 15 seconds on the clock.

HOLTZ: Wait, we called timeout?  What?

OLLISON: Shit, the defense was all scrambled up.

BOYD: Confusion reigneth, friends.  There is no sense to be found at this time.

Beathard takes the snap and again throws at Smith, again incomplete.

PETERMAN: OK, they're almost out of time.  Thank God.

HOLTZ: Gotta be another pass, right?

OLLISON: YO, D, JUST HOLD 'EM HERE. YOU GOT THIS.

Beathard again takes the snap, but takes off for an 8-yard run, dropping to the ground with just two seconds to spare.

HOLTZ: Goddamn.

PETERMAN: That took some balls.

OLLISON: Shit, hail mary time now.

PETERMAN: Gotta be. They're still only on the 40... that's a 57-yard kick.

Marshall Koehn and the Iowa special teams unit take the field and line up for a field goal attempt.

HOLTZ: Whoa.

PETERMAN: They're gonna try the kick?

OLLISON: That dude does have a rocket launcher for a leg.

BOYD: I fear this bodes ill, friends.

Koehn lines up and prepares to kick, but Pitt coach Pat Narduzzi calls timeout.  Koehn kicks the ball anyway and it lands shy of the goalposts, in the end zone.

HOLTZ: Ha.

PETERMAN: I knew it. It's too far.

OLLISON: Maybe it was, like, a practice kick, so --

PETERMAN: They're gonna use this timeout to come back out and try and hail mary. Watch.

NARDUZZI: Boyd!  Get out there!  Field that sonofabitch if it's short and run like hell.

BOYD: Verily, I go forth.

Boyd sprints out onto the field and sets up in the end zone, underneath the goal posts.

OLLISON: Hey, y'all think Ty's been acting a little weird lately?

HOLTZ: We never should have let him take those Shakespeare classes all summer.

Under the goal posts, Boyd waits and watches.

BOYD: The witching hour approacheth.

BOYD: The moment of glory nears.  For me and mine, or for yon noble opponents, who can say?

The ball is snapped, Dillon Kidd places it on the field, and Koehn connects, sending it whipping through the air.

BOYD: Hark, the ball soareth through the night sky!  It draws e'er nearer to me in its wingless flight! 'Tis high!  'Tis straight!  'Tis --

Iowa Pitt Daily Iowan Sergio Flores

(photo: Sergio Flores / The Daily Iowan)

BOYD: ...shit.

A big tip of the hat to Daily Iowan photographer Sergio Flores for capturing this excellent image and to our friends at The Daily Iowan for letting us re-post it here.  I highly encourage you all to check out their photo gallery from the Pitt game, which contains several great images.