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IOWA STATE: WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOSE?

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Every week, Iowa's opponent just so happens to wear the worst uniforms we've ever seen.

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Reese Strickland-USA TODAY Sports

Iowa State, we got one question for you.

Iowa State Home

Reese Strickland-USA TODAY Sports

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

WHAT. ARE. THOSE.

Iowa State finally welcomed itself to grown-up apparel a few years back by joining Nike, whose bold new vision was clear: just straight up rip off USC. The key difference: ISU has two vertical stripes going over the shoulders, USC has one. For more on the critical distinction, let's join Senior Nuance Analyst Robert Van Winkle. Robert?

Cyclones 2002

(Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

ISU was wearing Russell jerseys in the 21st century! Russell was putting dog bones on the ISU collar and for years the Clones were like "this is fine and good." And say what you will about the abominations Adidas has foisted upon college athletics recently, but at least they get basic color schemes right—who thought having more blue than white on an Iowa State jersey was a good idea?

Just Blue Myself

Oh, right right.

Cyclones 1996

(Photo by Steve Dykes /Allsport)

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

Cyclones 1994

(Photo by Getty Images)

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

ISU 1977

(Photo via Iowa State Athletic Communications, as you can probably guess from the watermark)

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

Beat Iowa Jerseys

(Photo via YouTube / ABC)

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

Ketchup Mustard bottles

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

Ronald McDonald

Registered Trademark of McDonald's

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

Ronald McDonald Shoes

(Photo by David McNew/Getty Images)

WHAT. ARE. THOSE.