The Hybrid is a weekly preview of every Big Ten game, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate.
I mean, you at least saw some of the Penn State-Temple game, right?
If you didn't, here are some numbers: Penn State QB Christian Hackenberg -- a projected first round NFL draft pick coming into the season -- put up 103 yards on 11/25 passing, with 0 TDs, 1 INT, and a QBR of 3.2. He was sacked 10 times, including a play where Temple rushed two (!!!) linemen. I dunno, though, maybe I'm overreacting. Hackenberg's brother, what say you?
"People have no clue," Brandon Hackenberg tweeted. "You have a Ferrari, yet drive 30 miles under the speed limit."
Iowa's coaching staff salivates.
And sure, Brandon Hackenberg deleted the tweet, but I think the message was well received. So whether it's misuse, bad play calling, a subpar o-line, or his flat out safety, one has to ask: should Hackenberg throw up deuces to the 2015 season this early on? Hell, one game alone is already hurting his stock. SB Nation's own Dan Kadar (@MockingTheDraft): "It's time to stop thinking of Christian Hackenberg as a No. 1 pick."
Even worse, Penn State is now doing Oakland Raiders-type things, and it's only Week 2:
This of course was followed up by a comment so good, it could only be on the Internet:
@SBNation Too bad they can't bury the offensive line— Robert Ozias III (@timehasflownby) September 9, 2015
So while I do not think he'll ask to be taken out, the situation in Happy Valley already looks to be quite toxic. If I'm Hackenberg, I truly do not know what to do. There's nothing footbaw people hate more than 'quitters' or 'soft' players, but if James Franklin's staff can't put him in a position to succeed, let alone walk off the field on his own two legs, this is gonna get a helluva lot worse before it gets better... particularly once Temple turns into Ohio State and Michigan State.
Friday Night Lights
Utah State at Utah (24): Utah looked pretty solid in a Week 1 victory against Michigan. Their RB was kinda suckin' but kept grinding out yards, the d-line manhandled Michigan's interior o-line (something Harbaugh was supposed to be great at coaching up but oh well my badz u guyz), and their QB was totally serviceable. They will not be an easy out this season.
South Florida at Florida State (11): QB Everett Golson passed for 4 TDs in his FSU debut, and he won some weird ACC award called "back of the week". That's seriously how they phrase it.
Jacksonville State at Auburn (6): So that Auburn QB Jeremy Johnson we were all excited about? Threw 1 TD and 3 picks in his Week 1 debut. Still, Auburn beat Louisville by a touchdown to secure one of the more impressive wins of the young season.
Oregon State at Michigan: Here are some tweets about Michigan QB1 and former Iowa QB1 Jake Rudock, hope, and silver linings.
I love that Rudock came out of a stupor just in time to rekindle a glimmer of hope for Michigan so it can be snuffed out again.— Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) September 4, 2015
All he's needed is a coach that would let him run no-huddle and chuck it 15 yards downfield. Instead, he gets Ferentz & Harbaugh.— Patrick Vint (@HS_BHGP) September 4, 2015
No one got concussed, special teams looked better, and most importantly, no one appeared to give up their will to live.— Jane Coaston (@cjane87) September 4, 2015
Yeah, so Week 1 sucked. Jake is a QB you watch, get frustrated with, and want to go "He SUCKS!" But he really doesn't suck, he's just soul-sucking to watch. It's so uninspiring, but it's really a lot closer to a C than an F. It's gonna be a long ass year.
Even weirder, M are 16.5 point favorites against Oregon State. Like, how bad are the Beavers?! Michigan scores a touchdown against Power 5 opponents once every month or so. I don't even know if a 17-0 final score is realistic enough to cover that spread.
Kansas State at Texas San Antonio: I'm not one for marching bands, but after this...
Free The Kansas State Band!
This is fantastic. Online donors have raised over $8k in 11 hours to pay the $5k Kansas State band fine; http://t.co/AZDxKOMVca— Clay Travis (@ClayTravisBGID) September 9, 2015
Western Illinois at Illinois: For a nice blowout win, Illinois had a weirdly sad start to the season. WR Mikey Dudek is still out, they got weather delayed on Friday night, and their rescheduled game on Saturday was unavailable to watch on television. That said, a telegram just came in saying QB Wes Lunt threw 4 TDs to four different dudes. Always good to diversify, and hopefully he's showing no ill effects of the leg injury which ended his 2014 season.
Bowling Green at Maryland: No idea how this didn't make the column in Week 1...
Buffalo at Penn State: /ducks to avoid getting hit with tomatoes from Nittany Lions fans
Indiana State at Purdue: Double digit loss to Marshall in Week 1? Seems about right.
Miami (OH) at Wisconsin: My boss is a big Wisconsin fan, and going into their Week 1 neutral site game against Alabama, I told him it wasn't so much about winning the game (not possible) as it was about making sure their best players didn't get hurt. The scars of the 2012 Michigan-Alabama game still run deep. In conclusion, safety Michael Caputo sustained a head injury and (potential) star RB Corey Clement made a preexisting injury worse.
It's one thing to lose, it's another to suffer roster depletion in Week 1. That just sucks.
Appalachian State at Clemson (12): Clemson Tom is back to preview the Tigers' latest game, which is against a team near and dear to my cold heart.
Wow, it's already Week 2 of college football. Even though that makes me kind of sad football season is moving pretty fast, I will be happy when we beat the brakes off the mountaineers of Appalachian State. Appalachian State is no pushover school, just Michigan. They return the most starters out of any Division I football team and are looking to knock off my beloved and adored Clemson Tigers. They can hope and dream on other things, but beating Clemson at home is something that is not going to happen for the Mountaineers. Go ahead and pack your bags and take your ass back to Boone, North Carolina. Honestly, could not name one player on their team and honestly no one else really can either.
Another sacrificial lamb to the football gods. Drink bourbon, Raise hell, and never settle for anything less than a 10.
Hawaii at Ohio State (1): This... can't be true:
Cardale Jones didn't know he was starting until the first series: http://t.co/rzniGRBKv2— Deadspin (@Deadspin) September 8, 2015
Well, we know this is true:
This is frightening. pic.twitter.com/gWCD9ou5Da— RossWB (@RossWB) September 8, 2015
And this is just the truth:
But... this was maybe my favorite:
Someone go get Cardale please https://t.co/33xT6TbyLV— OLIVER 3STACKS (@edsbs) September 8, 2015
Minnesota at Colorado State: A nice Week 2 test to see if that tight game Minny gave TCU was for real.
Stephen F Austin at TCU (3): Well, TCU's reign of terror in the No. 2 spot lasted a solid week. Welcome back, Tide overlords.
Washington State at Rutgers: ...31.5 fucking points. That's what Wazzu was favored to beat Portland State by before losing at home in Week 1. As a Michigan fan as well, I know an Appalachian State caliber loss when I see it. Like... fuck, man. My lasting memory of this shit game will be following on my phone while golfing and just MFing the world, ranting and raving like a lunatic, and throwing clubs. SB Nation's Coug Center seems pretty aligned with me, already using phrases like "time to panic", "all hope is lost", and "fire everyone". It's like Iowa after every Iowa State week!
This section from the game recap best sums it up:
His "answer" was just a screenshot of the entire roster.
Tulane at Georgia Tech (15): Me, after finding out G-Tech put up 65+ points in Week 1:
Notre Dame (9) at Virginia: This is an early take, but, like... is this the season Notre Dame makes the college football playoff? QB Malik Zaire looked the part in Week 1, and all of a sudden, the Stanford game looks a little easier to navigate. It all kind of comes down to their performances vs. USC and Clemson.
Furman at Virginia Tech: Are we going with the "GOBBLE GOBBLE BITCHES" or the gold watch?
Chris Hall (@christopher14ha) September 8, 2015
I think I'm going with the gold watch. I mean, anyone can make a funny shirt, but who the hell has ever worn a Rolex on the field?!?!
Georgia (10) at Vanderbilt: Nick Chubb ran for 7.5 yards a carry in Week 1. Tracking...
Fresno State at Ole Miss (17): Laquan Treadwell caught 4 passes for 44 yards in Week 1. Hoping he can add a TD against the Bulldogs.
Middle Tennessee at Alabama (2): ...don't play football.
Toledo at Arkansas (18): Hmm...
Arkansas’ Bret Bielema: "Ohio State has 1 game remaining w/ranked opponent. We have 8 remaining against teams ranked"— Brett McMurphy (@McMurphyESPN) September 9, 2015
I mean, you're the one who willingly left the Big Ten, coach.
Eastern Illinois at Northwestern: In talking about Northwestern's upset over Stanford, people seem unsure whether to give credit to jNW or shit on David Shaw for his play calling. I mean, do you know me at all?
Don't expect a change anytime soon, though.
Said Shaw, "Yes, it is a bit of an overreaction after Game 1. I say let's play a few games and see where we are."
Or we can -- oh, I don't know -- discuss what you just did.
- 4.1 yards per pass
- 3.1 yards per carry
- 3 for 15 on third down
- 240 yards total offense
Meh, stay the course and have fun throwing bowling balls at brick walls.
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Playing the "Serial" theme during official review is so Northwestern.— Heiko Yang (@Heiko25) September 5, 2015
Iowa at Iowa State: "Nearly everything he did was of massive consequence."
RIP, Tyler Sash. If you have not, please, please read Adam and Pat's piece from earlier this week. They hit on everything relevant and summed up a sad event in a pinpointed way that encapsulated everything I felt about the situation. I oddly felt compelled to look up Micah Hyde's thoughts on everything, but his Twitter feed has been dark since Monday.
Oklahoma (19) at Tennessee (23): Sneaky cool game this week. I have no idea how the Vols made my list of Random 5 Teams I Like In 2015, but it definitely happened.
Pittsburgh at Akron: Man, this Narduzzi quote is great.
#Pitt coach Pat Narduzzi on RB James Conner: "He tells me he’s coming back in five weeks. He’s crazy. He’s out for the year."— Sam Werner (@SWernerPG) September 9, 2015
Arizona (22) at Nevada: RichRod.
Ball State at Texas A&M (16): The "A&M players not using forks before playing Arizona State" gimmick is a premise so dumb, it almost comes back around to being fully funny. Plus, they won! Works every time!
Missouri (21) at Arkansas State: Got nohin'.
Lamar at Baylor (4):
Idaho at USC (8): Felt like USC kinda went under radar last week...
SARK AFTER DARK.
Oregon (7) at Michigan State (5): Game of the Week.
So the Vernon Adams debut went pretty well:
He also did the "run around in the backfield and evade a million guys en route to making a nice touch throw" thing that was all over his highlight video we linked last week. And though I'm not concerned about the fourth quarter hit he took (it looked like a head shot but mostly was absorbed by his shoulder pads/chest), I am concerned by the 42 points Oregon's D gave up to Eastern Washington's offense. I figured maybe it was during garbage time, but the Eagles dropped 14 in both the second and third quarter, so that seems real enough.
Sparty, meanwhile, was no great shakes against
Central Western Michigan, but they were playing on the road, their defense didn't give up nearly as much, and QB Connor Cook is a lot more battle tested than Adams. Plus, it looks like the MSU wideouts might finally, mercifully be emerging.
Buttttt, Mark Dantonio compared Adams to Russell Wilson this week. How can I *not* pick the Oregon upset here?
(Gonna fully ignore the Oregon secondary coach comparing Cook to Tom Brady.)
South Alabama at Nebraska: Would you rather be BYU or Nebraska after Week 1? Sure, the Huskers lost, but at least they still have their QB. The QB is Touchdown Tommy, but still.
Florida International at Indiana: Sure, the IU defense gave up 47 to Southern Illinois, but they get some guys back this week, so I'm sure that'll turn things around pretty quickly (not happening).
LSU (14) at Mississippi State (25): Not getting baited into this one unless it's close late.
Boise State (20) at BYU: BYU also lost DT Travis Tuiloma for 4-6 weeks. Aright, aright, I'll stop being a wet blanket:
UCLA (13) at UNLV: After being somewhat skeptical of the 2015 UCLA Bruins last week, QB Josh Rosen shut me up a little bit with a 3 TD performance against Virginia. Also, backup QB Jerry Neuheisel went 0/2 in relief (yes, he's Rick's kid).
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Wrapping It Up...
Too electric to be forgotten, No. 9.
Tribute to Tyler Sash http://t.co/JqoRGJxOKt— The Iowa Hawkeyes (@TheIowaHawkeyes) September 9, 2015
Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Black Heart Gold Pants. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or e-mail at bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.