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So, unsurprising confession here: I enjoy basketball prospects' mixtapes on the YouTubes. Every prospect looks like a star, everyone shoots 100% (unless it's someone else missing so the highlighted player can get a rebound), the "super dunk" play gets run so often, and it's a great time. Basketball is easy when you make all the jumpers!
The other thing you can count on is a generic, royalty-free hip-hop instrumental for the soundtrack. They're ubiquitous. Observe:
So since my brain thinks bad things sometimes, I got to wondering what the worst possible song for one of these highlight reels. So I asked Twitter, and was greeted with an onslaught of truly terrible ideas, which I now share with you.
@Adam_Jacobi Ben Folds, "Brick"
— actioncookbook (@actioncookbook) August 6, 2015
(This works on several terrible levels and is probably the "right" answer.)
@Adam_Jacobi The wreck of the Edmund Fitztgerald.
— Hammer & Rails (@HammerAndRails) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi Anything from Wilco's new album.
— Rick Freeman (@RWFreeman) August 6, 2015
(Tough but fair, Rick.)
@Adam_Jacobi Tiny Tim https://t.co/5sqwHxsgVn
— Greg McManus (@GregMcLNK) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi Take Me Out To the Ballgame
— Austin Roberts (@Lofter4) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi I Can’t Make You Love Me
— Seth Rosenthal (@seth_rosenthal) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi Torn Natalie Imbruglia
— Jon Pyle (@jonraypyle) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi "Wanna Know" by Meek Mill.
— Lyndsay Lee (@LyndsayALee) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi "Sunshine, Lollipops, & Rainbows."
— Gordon Gartrelle (@mrgartrelle) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi Let Me Kiss You by Morrissey
— Adam (@illex) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi Sarah McLaghlan - In the Arms of an Angel
— NBA Injury Report (@NBAInjuryR3port) August 6, 2015
(I got several suggestions along these lines and I'm worried about all of you now.)
@Adam_Jacobi Centerfield by John Fogerty
— Ben R. (@VT_Ben) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi Auld Lang Syne
— Matt Eitner (@mkeitner) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi Good Old Hockey Game
— #TeamFacelessHorde (@cmanesh_) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi when a man loves a woman
— Jack Byrom (@JackByrom) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi Cat’s in the Cradle
— Matt R (@3_2count) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi The Way We Were - Barbara Streisand
— Justin (Blank) (@PersonontheDL) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi Radiohead's "Creep"
— Zachary Reichard (@zajareich) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi Truly Madly Deeply
— Ron Mexico (@MakinHomiesSayO) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi "Wind Beneath My Wings" …
— Sue Hovey (@SueHovey) August 6, 2015
(Honestly surprised there wasn't more Bette Midler in this list.)
@Adam_Jacobi Yakety Sax
— Dustin White (@Whitey_83) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing
— Big Shrimpin' (@donnyv12_) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi "Hurt," NIN
— Jane Coaston (@cjane87) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi Everybody Hurts
— Patrick Truby (@PatrickTruby) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi "Real Close"
— Karl (@jokastrength) August 6, 2015
(Jeeeesus.)
@Adam_Jacobi Endless Love
— Scott Harves (@scottharves) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi How about "She's Like The Wind"?
— Brian Smith (@SmithBrianA) August 6, 2015
@Adam_Jacobi This? http://t.co/Dx2BeRuNjx
— Jordon Welle (@jwelle16) August 6, 2015
(Yeah, probably that.)
So, I don't do good video editing, but if anybody wants to set someone's highlights to one of these atrociously inappropriate soundtracks, rest assured we'll try to give it the attention it deserves.
And as always, the floor is yours for more terrible suggestions.