MATT ROTH GOT NICK SABAN A STRIPPER ONCE

Iowa's favorite Insane-O-Tron son Matt Roth has ridden off into the NFL sunset these days, but we're always happy to hear Matt Roth stories, and there was a doozy of one on Deadspin on Thursday. Technically Roth's a secondary character in the whole mix, but hooo buddy, what a role he played:

At the Miami Dolphins' annual rookie talent show, Matt Roth and Channing Crowder—the second- and third-round draft picks, respectively, that year—decided to team up for their act. Instead of trying to sing or dance or tell jokes, they opted to go with something a bit bolder. With the coaches, players, and staff gathered in an auditorium at the Dolphins' headquarters, Crowder called the rookie head coach up to the stage, which had, as a prop, a single chair. "I looked out into the crowd and said, ‘Hey, Coach, we just appreciate you giving us the chance to play in the NFL, and we want to show you some love,' " says Crowder. With that, he pointed to the chair and invited Saban to sit down.

Saban, somewhat reluctantly, obliged. He sat facing Crowder and Roth. At that moment, Kay-Jay Harris, an undrafted free agent who had been signed by the team, was supposed to start playing some loud club music over the speakers, but he couldn't figure out how to get the CD player to work. The "surprise" that Crowder and Roth had in store for Saban didn't wait for her cue, however. From behind him, a stripper—dressed in high heels, a very small bikini, and a Jason Taylor Dolphins jersey—pranced out of a door and onto the stage.

The story gets even better from there—we won't spoil the whole thing, that would be rude.

That's classic Matt Roth, right? Who else on earth—especially that would have come through the Kirk Ferentz Football Factory—would see a head coach of legendary crabbiness and decide, "I'm going to buy this man a stripper in front of everybody"?

In fact, the hell with it. Let's petition the NCAA to give Roth one more year of eligibility at Iowa. Who says no?

(Tip of the cap to Friend of the Pants @CoachCrewser for the heads-up)