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How to talk to your kids about 6-6 Auburn playing in the Birmingham Bowl!

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Bowls, bowls, and more bowls.

Wednesday, December 30th

Birmingham Bowl

Who: Auburn (6-6) vs. Memphis (9-3)
When: 11:00 AM CT
Where: Legion Field, Birmingham, AL

Storyline: How to talk to your kids about 6-6 Auburn playing in the Birmingham Bowl. I can't WAIT for that viral video. Did you know that Auburn was actually ranked sixth in the nation at one point? Preseason polls are fantastic. Things are all good until you nearly lose to Jacksonville State, get exposed by LSU, and lose four out of your last six games. They're supposed to be SEC.

Memphis, on the other hand, had a nice season under Justin Fuente, who was hired to replace Frank Beamer at Virginia Tech. Mike Norvell, a 34-year old coordinator with zero head coaching experience, will be his replacement. That seems fair.

Belk Bowl

Who: Mississippi State (8-4) vs. NC State
When: 2:30 PM CT
Where: Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte, NC

Storyline: If you didn't know, Belk is a department store headquartered in Charlotte that has a majority of its stores located south of the Mason-Dixon Line. I assume they have whites only bathrooms. I've crossed the line, haven't I?

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl

Who: Texas A&M (8-4) vs. Louisville Cardinals (7-5)
When: 6:00 PM CT
Where: Nissan Stadium, Nashville, TN

Storyline: We can at least credit Texas A&M for not being ranked in the preseason and then turning into a hilarious failure. No, they decided to actually beat a ranked team, win a few more games and not turn into a failure until they played Alabama. Over the past few weeks A&M lost two quarterbacks to transfer but hey, that might not be a bad thing.

Meanwhile, perpetual sleazeball Bobby Petrino won seven games thanks to playing the likes of Samford, BC, Wake, Cuse, Virginia and Kentucky. Still waiting on you to make the Cardinals as good as they were the first time you left, Robert.

Holiday Bowl

Who: Wisconsin Badgers (9-3) vs. USC Trojans (8-5)
When: 9:30 PM CT
Where: Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego, CA

Storyline: So let me get this straight. USC loses to #23 Oregon, beats a criminally overrated #22 UCLA and gets spanked by Stanford in the Pac-12 Championship game and is ranked by the CFB but Wisconsin, who won one more game and only lost to three top 15 teams isn't ranked? OK.

USC is quarterbacked by possibly the most overrated quarterback in the USA who doesn't play for Penn State: Cody Kesller. He'll likely be drafted by the Browns and be out of the league in three years. They have a bunch of other NFL talent but seeing as how no one can seemingly keep that team disciplined it doesn't matter and they'll be hiring and firing another coach in the next couple of years.

Thursday, December 31st

Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl

Who: Houston (12-1) vs. Florida State (10-2)
When: 11:00AM CT
Where: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, GA

Storyline: It seems appropriate that the New Year's Six Bowls kick off with the bowl that everyone cares about the least. However, it could be interesting. Tom Herman and Houston got here by nearly going undefeated (lol Diaco) and winning the American Championship. Florida State got here because they're Florida State. No, really. They lost to Georgia Tech for Christ's sake. I'm not going to give you credit for beating Florida, a team without a quarterback and an offense that offends Todd Lickliter. Houston should be able to hang with a team that AIN'T BEAT NOBODY.

Capital One Orange Bowl

Who: #1 Clemson (13-0) vs. Oklahoma (11-1)
When: 3:00 PM CT
Where: Sun Life Stadium, Miami Gardens, FL

Storyline: As someone who has been to an Orange Bowl I can tell you that Sun Life Stadium is in the hood and ugly. Or maybe that's just Miami in general outside of Miami Beach. Anyway, we all know that Clemson went undefeated but OU had an impressive run of beating three straight top 15 teams to close out their schedule and to win the Big 12. Baker Mayfield has turned into quite the quarterback and has me asking how the hell Kliff let him go. Oklahoma finished so strongly that they're actually favored over the #1 team in the country by 3 ½ points.

Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic

Who: Alabama (12-1) vs. Michigan State (12-1)
When: 7:00 PM CT
Where: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX

Storyline: I don't want to talk about a game involving Michigan State. It just brings out the sad in me.

OK fine here's what happened the last time these teams met in a bowl game: