JAMIE POLLARD & PAUL RHOADS GO ON A JOYRIDE

On a lovely Sunday afternoon after Iowa State's meltdown against Kansas State, ISU athletic director Jamie Pollard and head coach Paul Rhoads head out on a ride in the car.

Beautiful day, isn't it, Paul?

Yeah, I just adore driving. Just adore it!

WHERE ARE WE GOING

Aww, that don't matter, Paul. Just going for a ride. Just eating up the roads of Story County.

See, you've been working real hard, so this here's kind of a joyride.

So I say, enjoy, Paul. You've earned it.

YOU'RE THE BOSS

You like music, Paul?

YES

Well, let me tell you: You're going to get all the music you want today.

/turns on the radio

[static]

Aw man, is that how it works? We can't even get a transmitter out here so that good, hardworking Cyclone fans can hear some music?  That's just sad.

SO PROUD OF THIS TEAM

See now, there you go! That was vintage Rhoads right there! That was one of the finest postgame moments I've ever seen, and I've been doing this for years.

You wanna talk about pinning the tail on the donkey? That's just what you did. You were A-1 in that Nebraska game.

BE YOUR COACH...so proud...to

Yessir! Those press people, they're just loony.  They say you don't know how to read a time chart.  They must have been watching a different game.

That part when you missed the game-tying play because you were tying your shoe? That was world class, Paul. Showed you ain't just football. Always looking out.

Always trying to make sure everyone's safe, including yourself.

Someone steps on that shoelace and WHOOP you're on you ass in front of 50,000 people.

PLAY SIXTY MINUTES OF FOOTBALL

Hey, no need to worry about that now, Paul. You're out here on a joyride with ol' Jamie!

Hey Paul, do you remember that part where you took your headset off while your coordinator was calling the game's most critical play so that you could praise the defense? Me and the wife, we just loved that.

Showed you aren't just about the X's and O's. You had better things to do than monitor the game.

CYCLONE NATION

Perfect! And that part where your offense didn't score a point for like 30 minutes? Grand slam!

I'll tell you what: It showed you hadn't put too much thought into firing Mangino. A coach needs to be spontaneous, and Cyclone Nation knows it.

SO PROUD

That's right. And the way you looked like you were daydreaming during the game? Showed you were open to new ideas. Trying to find a better way to build that mousetrap. Just what I want from a coach.

WHERE ARE WE?

Ain't this pretty country, Paul? And ain't you having a good time? We're miles from anywhere.

Take a look over there. Why, there's a ten-point buck deer right over there.

That's beautiful. That's a symbol of Cyclone pride right over there.

WHERE

Right over there, Paul.

Here, let me pull over so you can get a better look.

You see it now?

NO

Well, I'll tell you what. I've already seen it, so why don't you just get out and take a look. You really should see it.

/opens door

Go on, Coach.

/steps out of car

That's right. Go right on out there.

Now take a few steps.

A few more, right over there.

Just go on.

I DON'T SEE IT

Just go on.

Go on.

/hammers the accelerator

I'm doing this for Cyclone Nation, that's right.

AND I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME CAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT THEY'LL UNDERSTAND

Hello?

Yeah, it's done...Yeah, I fixed it.  He went quietly.

Tell the press we have no idea where he is and make sure Mangino's ready for West Virginia Saturday. I think we can definitely--

/looks in rearview mirror

/chasing down car

Aw crap, I'll call you back

/runs alongside car

ARF ARF ARF

WHERE DID YOU GO?

WHAT HAPPENED?

Aw Paul, I'm sorry. The brakes on these cars are tricky. Let me try again.

[to himself] Guess you're going to have to do this the old-fashioned way, Jamie.