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THE HYBRID: WE SERIOUSLY NEED TO ENJOY THIS MORE

In this week's college football games preview, Bobby Loesch barks like a dog, spotlights the legendary Indiana defense, and discusses his upcoming trek back to Iowa City.

By Bobby Loesch
Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports

The Hybrid is a weekly preview of every Big Ten game, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate.

This could be a once-in-a-generation Iowa team.

Please remember that. Please continue to remember that even when you've started to slightly forget after vowing to never forget.

Let's flashback for just a sentence: think about how miserable we all were coming into this season. I mean, we hated everybody.

Now? We pretty much just hate Colin.

He looms.

And Baylor. We seem to be hating the Baylor Bears a lot for some reason.

I don't mean to go stereotypical football coach on anyone, but it's almost like there are too many distractions with this run. If this were college basketball or the NFL or the NBA or shitty baseball, we'd be so very geeked, week to week. Instead, the misery doctrine of college football forces us into perpetual battle. We find pundits to seethe at. We seek out unrelated teams who play thousands of miles away to knock. You know, just for not being us.

I'm not havin' it. I can't do it. Like CJB's groin, I'm out. I know a lot of these points got hit last week, but it feels like it needs reinforcement. In the words of Lil Wayne, let's stay Ray Charles to the bullshit.

THE HYBRID

Tuesday

N/A

Wednesday

Northern Illinois at Buffalo: I had a reader say they were surprised I didn't give my nuanced analysis of NIU's effort in successfully knocking off Toledo last week. I will right that wrong now...

...

ROOF ROOF ROOF ROOF ROOF!!!!!!!!

Thursday

N/A

Friday Night Lights

Saturday

Florida (11) at South Carolina: Shout out to the Gators for their big win against Vandy last week -- jk.

ESS EE SEE, ESS EE SEE, ESS EE SEE

Ohio State (3) at Illinois: Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams Juice Williams

Urban Meyer Feelings Chart

This week, I went with PISSED OFF A LITTLE BIT because I bet he's a little peeved people are questioning his handling of J.T. Barrett's suspension ("Just one game?!"). Speaking of, here's the TMZ link to the arrest video. I do not post this to mock Barrett or sensationalize his words to the officers (as some sites have done). I posted it because you have to watch the last 10 seconds of the video when the cops realize Cardale is the one coming to pick him up; they break character and start laughing. It's priceless.

Kansas at TCU (15): He gone.

Maryland at Michigan State (13):

...

.....

.........

(In Plax's defense, he totally owned it.)

Purdue at Northwestern (18): Here we go now Strength of Schedule Wildcats!

Miami (FL) at North Carolina (23): The Tar Heels hung 66 on Duke last week. Even caring 0% about the game, it's a number where I turned on the TV and went "Whoa." out loud upon seeing it live.

Wake Forest at Notre Dame (4): If ND Nation wins out but gets snubbed by the playoff, will that finally convince the poopy Irish to join a conference? Losing the late season momentum of a championship game win could prove costly, year in and year out.

Clemson (1) at Syracuse: A very orange game.

(No, Clemson Tom has not e-mailed me anything. This is what you get when you rely solely on me to preview Climpson.)

Alabama (2) at Mississippi State (17): ZOMBIE ALABAMA, you killed Leonard.

"Sure, they stopped the run, but what about special teams?" you ask.

Ohhhhhhh, why do you question ZOMBIE ALABAMA?

But this is The Hybrid, so it can't be all love:

* * *

As for Mississippi State, I don't care about being a week late on this -- it was awesome:

Oklahoma State (8) at Iowa State: Bizarro Iowa! The Cowpokes feel under-ranked this week. They're just like how the real Iowa used to be!

Nebraska at Rutgers: Big win for the Huskers last week... and big moral win for Rutgers.

Plus this happened:

Michigan (14) at Indiana:

And you can't have nuts without honey.

...

...Brady Hoke is Winnie The Pooh.

* * *

Did Indiana's Defense Give Up Points In The Fourth Quarter? Yes. Yes, they did. Iowa kept The Streak going. Furthermore, commenter/colleague Z.W. Martin further researched the Indiana defense's point streak, and it actually goes back to last season... in Week 1!!! That's right, the IU defense has surrendered points in the fourth quarter of 20 straight games. Proof.

I love them like sons.

Memphis (21) at Houston (24): Well, damn it -- this game coulda been cool if Memphis had won last week. Instead, we get unbeaten Houston playing tarnished Memphis. Meh.

(Haha, Memphis is still ranked higher though; ESS EE SEE)

Arkansas at LSU (9): Are you serious, Arkansas?

Arkansas coverts improbable 4th-and-25 in miraculous fashion

Things looked bleak for the Arkansas Razorbacks but they proved it's NEVER over until it's over!

Posted by SB Nation on Saturday, November 7, 2015

This is even better than the real thing; it also highlights a facemask on a 2PC which also kept the game alive:

* * *

I didn't see GameDay last week, so can someone explain to me why Rick Ross was affiliated with this in any way? He's Miami based, no?

Regardless, there's nothing negative to say about the bearded tiger head.

Oh, also, who's the Heisman favorite with Leonard Fournette taking a step back against Alabama and Boykin's TCU team all but eliminated from the Playoff? Please not someone stupid, please not someone stupid...

/looks up

Derrick Henry. But of course.

Oregon at Stanford (7): This game should have been cool, but it's not*, so now we have an unrelated GIF, which I'll caption "Me, As A Coverage Linebacker".

Oh, also, though I prefer to keep my head in the sand when it comes to the college playoff committee and their always buzzy show... body clock?!

Went out of my way not to look into this further. Good gracious.

(* - should mention: Jamie Mac says Oregon's O has improved considerably, and he expects this game to be competitive)

Oklahoma (12) at Baylor (6): Game of the Week. To appease all of you, I googled "evil bears" and it gave me this.

Minnesota at Iowa (5): Well, guys... I'm comin' to IC for the game this weekend! Let's celebrate with a Vine and a GIF.

Now that that's done, some questions.

- Why do tickets cost a million dollars? Don't answer that.

- Are any of y'all going to the outdoor wrestling thingy? Seems like it could be cool.

- If we lose to Minnesota, can it all be blamed on me? You know what, I say yes.

- Any hot recs on where to watch the game downtown? I came down for Iowa-Indiana last year and did upstairs at Airliner for the first half and -- /shudder -- Brothers for the second half.

/shakes fist at friends

It'll also be the gf's (jNW alum) first trip to Iowa -- besides the quad cities for a wedding. I'm really hoping her good karma for sitting through the blowout in Evanston isn't transferred into a Hawkeyes loss this weekend. I asked her if she had any preconceptions about Iowa City. Her answer: "Corn? Why? Is this going in the column?"

It always is.

Also: I like hip-hop and I like Iowa, but... man, I don't know about this.

Snoop reps everybody. He'll probably round out the rest of the Top 10 before the end of the regular season. My buddy Tom Casey linked me to an article which said it had an explanation of why Snoop was rockin' the shirt. The big reveal? "He was playing a show in Cedar Rapids, and there were controlled substances."

Back to this team, though. Man, this team. Let's start with the current record. Jacobi, can you make us appreciate all of this even more?

Since Iowa's first 9-0 start in 2009, Ohio State is the only other Big Ten team who can claim two 9-0 starts (2012, 2013) and nobody else can even claim one.

Yes. Yes.

We even had some -- dare I call it -- bulletin board material going into this game...

* * *

As for Minnesota... even knowing nothing about Tracy Claeys, I'm glad they took off the interim tag and gave him the full hire. The ESPN Big Ten bloggers think he's a good fit, it keeps Jerry Kill's legacy alive/gives the program some continuity, and now, he isn't defined by his awful clock management at the end of the Michigan game.

Normally, we rip coaches for butchering those situations and say things like "Any 14-year-old playing Madden wouldn't screw that up", but I like how Claeys didn't shy away from the mistake. He said it was all on him and even admitted he called Kill for advice on the situation. You don't often see that accountability and honesty from the head coach of a college football program; too much ego and evil involved, usually.

Washington State at UCLA (19): I told y'all Wazzu might be gettin' bowl eligible against Arizona State last week, and you didn't listen. Now we have SBN's Cougs blog posting headlines like this:

Cougars defeat Sun Devils, fanbase remains without pants

Probably was unavoidable.

In even better news, Wazzu head coach Mike Leach remains unrelentingly badass:

Swagga jacka!

I'm mostly just happy.

* * *

Wrapping It Up...

Amen.

Wrapping It Up (Again)..

No, actually, let's give the last word to Mike Leach, who had a fantastic rant about Neil Young, disco, and the evolution of music.

This meeting needs to happen.

Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Black Heart Gold Pants. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or e-mail at bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.

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