You listen here, Jay Jacobs. I was once a proud man until you broke me. I had a good thing with Gene Chizik until you took him from me.
Well, I gotta tell you, we weren't terribly enthused by the two-game winning streak y'all put together at the end of last season. We wanted to get our guy while he's mired in a losing streak. Call it superstition.
You sure are, Jamie. You sure are. So the really good news is you can go ahead and get Gene back if you wanted. I texted him the other day and he *personally* told me that returning to Ames is, I quote, "not the worst idea I've heard."
Um... no, we can't. That's the point I was trying to make. So while my secretary draws up official papers that we'll fax over tomorrow, what we'll do for now is a verbal gentleman's agreement. We'll each declare what we get in this exchange.
Mister Pollard! I refuse to do official business with a, a, a brazen pervert! And I will be forwarding this audio on to Gene Chizik at once, and he will definitely never call you back or even think about you again! GOOD DAY SIR!
Meanwhile, in Iowa City...