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COLOUR MY KINNICK

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The atmosphere at Kinnick Stadium needs an improvement and Gary Barta has just the man.pet

"And then I was like, 'play Beginnings!'"
"And then I was like, 'play Beginnings!'"
Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

In the Iowa football office, a tour is underway

Iconbarta_medium And this is where a lot of our offices are... oooh, you see that phone over there? We make a ton of prank calls from that phone, you are going to love that.

Iconbarta_medium And here's our trophy case, pretty full, huh? Well, I don't want to take too much credit, but that's all because of me. Go ahead soak it in...

Iconbarta_medium Oh, just the man I was looking for...

Peter_cetera_icon_blurry_medium Baby, what a big surprise.

Iconferentz_medium Gary, always a pleasure, sorry to just say hi and run, but we've got pract- wait, is that who I think it is?

Iconbarta_medium Mmm-hmmm. Kirk, I'd like you to meet Peter Cetera.

Peter_cetera_medium

Iconferentz_medium No... way. He grabs and shakes his hand vigorously. It is such an honor to meet you. Chicago was the soundtrack of my 70s. What are you doing here?

Iconbarta_medium Well, you know how the athletic department has gotten a bad rap for not having  a good enough stadium atmosphere at Kinnick? Hell, of course you do, your son was one of the first detractors.

Iconferentz_medium Yeah, he twitted it.

Iconbarta_medium Well, I've decided to follow the example of Michigan State and get the program a musical celebrity number-one fan.

Iconferentz_medium Wait, who's Michigan State's fan?

Iconbarta_medium Rich Homie Quan.

Iconferentz_medium Gesundheit.

Iconbarta_medium Ummmm... anyway... meet Iowa's number-one fan - Peter Cetera!

Peter_cetera_icon_medium You're the inspiration.

Iconferentz_medium Thanks, you don't know how much that means to me. But Gary, I think what my son and others were saying is that the stadium's atmosphere seems to be stuck in the 70s and 80s.

Peter_cetera_icon_medium Old days.

Iconferentz_medium That's right, and I'm not sure what message its going to send when you introduce 70-year old Peter Cetera as the program's hip fan.

Iconbarta_medium Hey, he's 69 and, what were you telling me earlier?

Peter_cetera_icon_medium Feeling stronger everyday.

Iconbarta_medium That's right, he's feeling stronger everyday. Now let's be clear, we're not stuck in the past, we just have a tendency to play the same songs in the same situations.

Peter_cetera_icon_medium Hard habit to break.

Iconbarta_medium That it is, Peter. That it is.

Iconferentz_medium Is he a real fan, though? Peter's from Illinois, maybe he's an Illini fan.

Iconbarta_medium Oh, he is a big fan, believe me. We were talking about his favorite games before we came and met you. He loves the Tate-to-Holloway Capital One Bowl game, even remembers the score - 30-

Peter_cetera_icon_medium 25... or 6 to 4.

Iconferentz_medium Wow! Anybody who can appreciate the 6-4 game is alright in my books.

Iconbarta_medium And guess what? He wants to record a new song about the Hawkeyes - a duet with the head coach.

Peter_cetera_icon_medium Just you ‘n me.

Iconferentz_medium I think I just peed a little. Clears throat Really though, I need to get to practice, just a little over a week until UNI.

Peter_cetera_icon_medium If you leave me now...

Iconferentz_medium Alright, I can stay for a little longer, but if I wait too long Scherff will throw that blocking sled again.

Iconbarta_medium You should just be honored that this lumina-

Peter_cetera_icon_medium Does anybody really know what time it is?

Iconbarta_medium Umm, that's a strange way to ask, but its 3:15.

Peter check his watch, nods and then begins to take off.

Iconbarta_medium Do you have to leave right now? Can't the golf course wait?

Peter_cetera_icon_medium Hard to say, I'm sorry.

Iconbarta_medium Well, I'll call you sometime tonight. And I'll see you Saturday.

Peter_cetera_icon_medium Saturday in the park?

Iconbarta_medium That's right. See you later.

Iconferentz_medium Bye.

Peter departs.

Iconbarta_medium Well....?

Iconferentz_medium I'm not sure about this.

Iconbarta_medium When have I ever been wrong?

Iconferentz_medium ....

Iconbarta_medium Don't answer that.

Iconbarta_medium Anyway, I know you'll change your mind when you see the billboard.

Iconferentz_medium Billboard?

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