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BIG TEN MEDIA DAYS HORSE REPORT, DAY 1: WE SENT A HORSE

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We sent a horse to the Big Ten Media Days. Here is the horse report.

It's the 2014 Big Ten Media Days, and BHGP has sent correspondent Neigh Leman to Chicago to cover the proceedings. Neigh Leman is a horse. I am not happy about this because I don't think horses should do journalism. Nonetheless, I've been overruled, so here we are. Neigh Leman's thoughts and observations have been transcribed herein. We cannot vouch for the accuracy of anything Neigh Leman says; to repeat, he is a horse. -- AJ

Hayyyyyyy! LMFHO (laughing my front hooves off)! This is Neigh Leman checking in from the Big Ten Media Days. It sure is a circus, so you know a horse had to show up! There are lots of horses at circuses. I told this to the guy at the check-in desk and he said I still needed a credential, so I told him my name is Neigh Leman. I would have tried to trick him but I am a horse.

I saw Pat Forde! Pat Forde! He likes horses. Andy Staples? I bet he wishes it was Andy Stables! I am a horse.

There are many other media members in attendance today. Day 1 is all about coaches giving press conferences. How exciting! But thy don't herald us media members in and out of the ballroom with a flourish of trumpets or whatever so this is going to be a big-time adjustment for me, a horse.

Oh! The interviews are starting now. Pat Fitzgerald is coming on shortly. He seems like a guy who knows his way around an oatbag. I'm going to try to ask him about whether it's time to replace cleats with horseshoes.

This place is so beautiful! But there's no straw upon which to lie. All the chairs are for humans! I don't like this! (braying and whinnying frantically) (kicking hooves up) (headbutting every camera tripod in sight)

[We apologize for this article, as this conversational tone is not what we expect out of our correspondents, equine or otherwise. We have instructed Neigh to be more professional in his upcoming missives. Thank you. -- BHGP]