The multi-day Hawkeye football 2014 poster Twitter reveal has finally come to fruition and stuff, and we can now see the thing in all its full glory. As you probably suspected, the final piece of the puzzle was indeed Brandon Scherff, and for good reason. His credentials are impeccable: senior, Outland Trophy candidate, almost certainly a first-team preseason All-American, likely first-round pick in 2015... like, "best lineman by far on Iowa's OL" only scratches the surface.
But, here's the thing... if anything, Iowa's roster wildly undersells Scherff's size because HOLY CRAP HE'S HUGE NOW AAAAAAAAHHHH
Here's the final product for the 2014 schedule poster! #GoHawks #Swarm2014 pic.twitter.com/WgilabeUDE— Hawkeye Football (@HawkeyeFootball) May 29, 2014
JESUS GOD. He's like twice as big, MINIMUM, as everyone else. He can double-team every member of a defensive line single-handedly. He could drive block a moving bullet train into Row Q. He calls Jadeveon Clowney "brunch." If Brandon Scherff lived in Japan Godzilla would have been a 15-minute movie about how calm and great everything is there.
What the hell happened between the spring game and now? Did they put him in the Captain America Grow You Bigger Machine or whatever they call it? Because he totally didn't need that.
I mean, look, really look at the poster. Look at all that water coming from his head or mouth area! Is that... sweat? Saliva? Just water pouring out like when you tip an air conditioner too far? WHO EVEN KNOWS? Doctors don't!
With that, we would like to offer a slight update to Iowa's roster, because it's pretty obviously overdue.
There. Much better.
So congratulations to the Iowa Hawkeyes, who are now a mortal lock to go 14-0 and win the inaugural College Football Playoff, thanks to Raging Hurricane Deathmammoth Brandon Scherff. May he forever use his powers for good, or at the very least for the good of the Hawkeyes. We all live inside of him now.