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INDIANA-IOWA PREVIEW 2014: WE LET BORED HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT WRITE THIS ONE

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There are many factors in who wins this College Football 2014 game.

Good catch! Football
Good catch! Football
Jerry Schultheiss-US PRESSWIRE

After a bye week, the Hawkeyes return to Iowa City for their only home game in October. Indiana is the visitor at Kinnick Stadium as Iowa hits the midpoint of the 2014 season. But who is this "Indiana," really? Where is it? Does anyone really know? Here's what we can tell you.

The Vitals

Name: Indiana University Hoosiers

Location: Parts Unknown

Record: 3-2 (0-1)

Last game: 49-24 W vs. North Texas

Last game vs. Iowa: Indiana 24, Iowa 21, 2012

Ranking: Unranked

The Leaders

Passing: Nate Sudfeld, 97-158, 1,066 yards, 5 TDs, 2 INTs

Rushing: Tevin Coleman, 105 rushes, 841 yards, 8 TDs

Receiving: Shane Wynn, 26 catches, 362 yards, 2 TDs

Tackles: T.J. Simmons, 29 tackles

Tackles For Loss: Nate Hoff, 4.5 TFL

Interceptions: 4 tied with one interception

The Lowdown

NOTE: Against all better judgment, we've allowed an old friend, the Bored High School Student, to write this week's preview. He assures us he "know[s] everyone on both teams"—no context was given—and that he'll "get the score perfect." Don't know how he knows that. Anyway, we are now legally obligated to point out that this is not expert analysis, reflects the views of nobody at BHGP, should not be used to formulate any opinion of your own, probably shouldn't even be read at all, and almost certainly contains flagrant plagiarism.

The biggest question in college football 2014 today is who wins the Iowa-Indiana game. There are many factors in a football game! Wichever team can compare on offense and contrast on defense will definitely win the game unless it doesn't. Then it truly is any body's ballgame!

If you want to figure out who will win the game you have to look at all the factors and consider them before you add all of them up or subtract them or maybe even multiply. You have to follow the laws of math or else your numbers will add up all wrong. Football is a game of math numbers. There is probably also some science, which some people call "the math of life." I fucking love science! That is the best facebook group to follow.

The Indiana Hoosiers are named after the movie "The Hoosiers" starring Gean Hackman. It is about a group of basketball players, or as they are known in basketball circles, "Hoosiers." oNCE YOU KNOW THAT THE WHOLE MOVIE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. The movie is about A coach with a checkered past and a local drunk train a small town high school basketball team to become a top contender for the championship.

Director:

Writer:

It is a good movie but the real question in 2014 is if the football "the Hoosiers" are good enough for a movie or if they will lose to Iowa so bad.

Offense

Offents

The main guy on offense for Indiana is Tevin Coleman. He is basically the top running back in the nation because he gets 8 yards every time he rushes the ball. That is a whole lot! Basically Tevan Coleman is so good you have to change the rules of football because if you can get 8 yards per rush you will never have to punt or field goal and that is unfair to defenses! Devin Coleman has many compares to Reggie Bush except I don't know if he will marry a Kardashiean or what kind of girls he is into. I think I like punk rock girls the best right now, but only the ones that like the vintage punk rock like Sum 41. This new stuff is stuped! And not in a good way lol.

Everyone thinks Indiana is a throw the ball team and if you do not try to stop that, Nate Sudfeld will probably throw a trillion passes! That is touchdown city no matter how you slice it. Nate Sudafed likes to throw it to Shane Wynn. It is like Charlie Shean. "Winning, duh!" LMAO. Everyone is jealous of how much money that guy makes and I bet he has lots of girlfriends. But I don't get it because if the guy's name is Win then how come Indiana doesn't win more, like, he's not a backup or anything.

If you say your name is win and you lose a lot anyway that is called Frod. it is a crime and you can go to jail for frod. Iowa should be worried about playing football against frod committers because their is no telling what they will do next. You just have to pray the refs throw that big yellow flag on them and say "this is a truth zone buddy, get it straight," and oh man, they will be so embarrassed when the refs lay down the law. Iowa can't aford to make the refs mad though or else Indiana won't be ashamed anymore because" nobody is perfect."

Indiana has five offensive linemen who are starters because of this is college football 2014. Here is more information on offensive line courtesy of the fine brothers and sisters at wikipedia.com.

Screenshot Offensive line

Did you know that! Whoa

Defense

Defents

All eyes are on the Iowa QuarterBack situation as Jake Rudock and C.J. Beathard are battling for the starting QuarterBack spot. They are not actually battling with weapons! It is a football term of speach. There are many factors in can you throw the ball to the guy and not their guy. Sometimes QB's do that or they don't and it makes fans really angry or happy. My uncle Walt isn't allowed over to watch the games for a long time because he called Ruddock a word my mom won't let anyone say in the house. Walt said it was the beer's fault and my mom called him a liar but then after Walt left we saw some barf by the fishtank by the downstairs bathroom and Im pretty sure the fish were'nt the ones who yacked up Taco Bell lol. The inportant thing to remember is CJ Betheard can make you barf angry too! That is the big compare that everyone in Iowa college football 2014 refuses to admit. Ruduck is the real steady leader AMerica needs and Betherd is a real "live wire" that nobody can trust which is probably why Walt likes him. Walt said he used to have long hair too and he used to play guitar with Metallica. No way!!! My mom says he's a liar... typical MOM!!!!!

I don't know who plays defense for Indiana college football 2014

In Sum

Iowa should crush the Indianas all day long but that is not Iowa football. This game is like watching a snake and cow get in a fight, it's like whoa wait a second, why are you two fighting, the cow is huge, it should probably win, but now I have to see if the snake does snake magic to win or whatever. Iowa is the cow of College Football 2014.

I think Iowa does its cow magic and gets the "W" that stands for "win." It can't get the "W" that stands for Wisconsin—not yet!!! That game is in November 2014. Indiana defense football is so bad that basically Iowa can do bad football and still score a ton of points, also Jake Ruddock has to be either treasure or trash and nobody knows which is which! College football 2014 is so mysterious! Thank you for reading.

Prediction: Iowa 27, Indiana 20

Perdiction