Oh, that's why. Sometimes I wonder why I'm so compelled to watch sports. Not whether I am—that's not up for debate—but why. I suspect many Iowa fans have asked themselves the same thing, especially over the last season and a half or so.
And then a game like Saturday's happens. Iowa goes Nuclear Supernova* and obliterates Western Michigan, and for three glorious hours on a September noon, everything is as it should be. If Kevonte Martin-Manley didn't set a record for fasted pair of punt returns in a single game, freaking congrats to whoever's got it, because two in the span of 59 seconds for KMM is absolutely bananas. Same goes for the two pick-sixes B.J. Lowery now has to his name, which came in the comparatively glacial span of 3:34 of game time.
*Well technically all supernovas are nuclear because you see (pushes up glasses) (gets shot into the sun)
Even the offense waltzed, though there were still three punts because unless it's 222-0 all over again, "perfection" in college football requires some acceptance of guys getting tackled before they get a first down. But hey: Jake Rudock looked about as moxie-ish as a Ricky Stanzi-Drew Tate amalgam, the running game leaned on the offensive line to great success yet again (4.4 yards per carry is not great, but 58 rushes is mighty fine), and LeShun Daniels sure looked like a fine fourth-stringer. Depth in the backfield! Who knew Iowa could boast such a thing?
Of course, this win doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. It's hardly a guarantor of future success and for all we know, Iowa's marching up to Minnesota and losing by 20. Probably not, and I sure hope not, but it's possible.
But for three hours, it didn't matter that Iowa was 4-8 last year, it didn't matter that Iowa gagged a game away to Northern Illinois in Week 1 and it didn't matter that Iowa probably won't have a winning record in Big Ten play this year. It was just pure, unadulterated bliss in the form of a 59-3 victory.
And that, really, is why we always come back to sports. They don't fix everything in life when things are rough. Hell, they might not fix a damn thing, especially long-term. But if nothing else, every now and then it helps you escape for those three hours, puts a different face on the world, or at least the world in front of you, and provides you with a reminder that yeah, things can be really awesome if you're patient enough for them.
Anyway, that was great fun.