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DeAndre Kane, Veterinary Sciences Student

Iowa State's top guard goes on rounds at the animal hospital.

Iowa State guard DeAndre Kane transferred to the school from Marshall, where he was thrown off the team despite being named All-Conference USA twice. Because Kane is a Marshall graduate, he is allowed to play at his new school as a graduate student, provided that the graduate program in which he is enrolled is not offered at his old school. Marshall does not have a veterinary medicine program, so we're going to assume that's what he's doing in Ames.

Oh, and DeAndre pokes people in the eyes.

Doctoricon_medium Welcome to Intro to Veterinary Medicine.

Doctoricon_medium Today, we're going to go on rounds at the veterinary hospital and see some patients.

Doctoricon_medium Follow me.

Doctoricon_medium Our first patient is Snowball. She's a 6 year old housecat with retinal degeneration.

Doctoricon_medium That's a disease where the animal's eyes are deficient in a particular acid, which causes them to lose vision.

Doctoricon_medium If you look at the cat's eye you can see --

Deandre-kane-icon_medium /pokes cat in the eye

Icontrololocat_medium MEOW

Icontrololocat_medium /jumps off examining table

Doctoricon_medium DeAndre, that was far too firm. You just needed to softly touch the outer eyeball, not jam your finger in the cat's eyes.

Deandre-kane-icon_medium BUT THAT CAT LOOKED AT ME FUNNY

Doctoricon_medium She's a cat. She looks at everyone funny. It doesn't mean you can try to poke her eyes out.

Doctoricon_medium Let's move on.

Doctoricon_medium Up next is Buster, a 4 year old pit bull terrier. Buster is here because he got a thorn caught in his paw.

Doctoricon_medium If you lift the dog's front leg and look at the --

Deandre-kane-icon_medium /pokes dog in eyes

Iconace_medium BARK

Iconace_medium /runs away

Doctoricon_medium DEANDRE


Doctoricon_medium How about not gouging a dog's eyes out? He wasn't throwing elbows. I was holding his arm up.

Doctoricon_medium We're going to move on to the next animal, another simple housecat. Please do not poke the --

Deandre-kane-icon_medium /pokes cat in the eyes

Caticon_medium MEOW

Caticon_medium /jumps off table

Deandre-kane-icon_medium WHY IS HE ORANGE AND SHIT. I DON'T LIKE ORANGE.

Doctoricon_medium Do you even know what animals are? What was your undergraduate major?

Deandre-kane-icon_medium UNDECIDED

Doctoricon_medium I would like to get you some exposure to birds. I don't think I have any birds around...


Ejim_icon_medium /double middle finger to the animal hospital

Doctoricon_medium This is a quarter horse. He's just getting a checkup.

Deandre-kane-icon_medium BOOM

Deandre-kane-icon_medium /pokes horse in the eyes

Horse_icon_medium NEIGH

Horse_icon_medium /runs through hospital

Deandre-kane-icon_medium FOLLOW ADAM JACOBI

Doctoricon_medium Mr. Kane, I'm sorry, but I don't think you're the right fit for this program.

Doctoricon_medium You're going to have to leave.

Deandre-kane-icon_medium AW MAN, AGAIN?

Deandre-kane-icon_medium /walks out of hospital

Iconcell_medium RING

Iconcell_medium RING

Deandre-kane-icon_medium HEY COACH HOIBERG

Hoiberg_medium DeAndre, this is Coach Fred Hoiberg of the Iowa State Cyclones.

Hoiberg_medium I understand it you just got thrown out of your program?

Deandre-kane-icon_medium YEAH I DON'T THINK I CAN BE A VET

Hoiberg_medium Have you ever given any thought to being a Cyclone?

Hoiberg_medium How soon can you be in Ames?