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HFMR's Summer Running Tour - Volume 1

So, you may remember how last summer I lost a high stakes game of strip Uno to Vint and RossWB and rather than show them my kielbasa I took a plea deal instead and ran the Colfax Marathon wearing jean shorts and a BHGP t-shirt. Since I'm the kind of guy who never learns his lesson, I went in big again versus the Editors of the Pants and their suspiciously never-ending string of Draw Four's and once again I got very nearly nude. The fellas were chanting for sausage, but again decided (in a 2-1 vote) that I should represent in the marathon.

And so it was.

Unfortunately, my "Go Iowa Awesome" shirt fell off at mile 3.


I was told it would be a formal affair.


This is me pretending to jumpkick Tim Tebow in the dick while running through Mile High Stadium.

Let's see that in slow motion, 4000 times in a row:


And it wouldn't be a race if you didn't have a cold refreshment during the last 200 yards.


And finally, you can't participate in an event like this dressed as a complete asshole without letting people know who you are. That's why I decided to advertise my Twitter account right up on that money-making ass of mine.


Well, you know.....I decided to advertise somebody's Twitter account.